


And with the dawn our sun will rise

by Arlene0401



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Also A Lot Of Growing Up, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Background Relationships, Beyond the Walls, Blindfolds, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Canonical Character Death, Character Development, Conspiracy Theories, Eruriren Week 2016, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Levi gets bored and needs a distraction, M/M, Multi, Ocean, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Disability, Post-Canon, Threesome - M/M/M, Titan Eren Yeager, Titan Erwin Smith, Titan Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), What's In Eren Yeager's Basement, acwnr characters, background jearminkasa, background springles, but none of the good guys I promise, countryside living, i repeat: no main character death, set after chapter 80, silver fox erurirens, underground city
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7176458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end of the titans is the dawn of a new era. But this, too, holds more blood, sweat and tears than anybody wished for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for eruriren week 2016 - woot woot!  
> It's also my first try at a multichaptered fic in months, so please be gentle :)
> 
> Fic title taken from the Lyrics of Dead Can Dance [Don't fade away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Venq67tPA70)
> 
> Please take note that Eren is his canon age, therefore I tagged the fic as underage. If you are uncomfortable with this, please do not proceed.

Blood.

Blood covering the ground, oozing down walls, dripping from leaves.

Blood clogging and darkening in the sun, the hue changing from red to a rusty dark brown and black.

Filling the air with a stifling copper stench, attracting flies in myriads.

The titans’ blood steamed and slowly evaporated, leaving only the traces of human suffering behind.

Eren’s eyes scanned the ground frantically, his team swarming around with their manoevering gear filled with the same purpose. So far they hadn’t found any signs of life.

Only mangled corpses, or soldiers barely breathing and so badly mutilated they would have been better off dead. And steaming titans, their necks sliced so precisely there was no doubt in reading the handwriting of the one who’d killed them.

So far no sign of Erwin or Levi, or the beast titan. Eren felt like screaming in frustration. The soldiers stationed on the wall had been able to observe some of the actions of Erwin’s squad, and they had been able to piece together what had been going on. Obviously Erwin had led the new recruits into a suicide attack against the beast titan, distracting him from Levi who had advanced along the line of titans.

After that things had gone flaky and hard to watch, plus they had been engaged in their own battle against the armored and the colossal titan. Long story short, Armin and Eren had been able to take down the colossal titan at last, Eren luring him in in playing dead and Armin giving him another taste of the thunder spears… this time not wasting ammunition on a direct hit, but aiming for a nearby building and showering the titan’s legs with shrapnel and debris, causing him to falter and stumble. Eren lunged forward and tackled him again, and this time he managed to throw the colossal titan off balance. The roar and the impact of the gigantic creature on the ground were deafening, and a enormous cloud of smoke, steam and dust covered most of the town. They had been forced to act more or less blindly, but their enemy was disoriented too. Eren had attacked again and again, from different directions, moving fast, throwing rubble and rocks, until they had finally weakened him enough. After that they had obliterated his whole body, taking no risk in leaving any part of his titan and human body intact.

Meanwhile, Mikasa and Jean had worn out and taken down the armored titan, although they strongly suspected it was as much his intention to keep them occupied and away from the events outside the wall, as it was their intention to keep him away from Eren. Once he had taken enough hindering injuries to his few not sufficiently armored body parts, thanks to Mikasa’s and Jean’s precise aiming skills, and Eren had thrown the remains of the colossal’s head at him, he had offered no mentionable resistance and was currently an undistinguishable, smoldering mass in the ruins of Shiganshina.

Suddenly, from the cloud and steam covering the fields, a titan emerged, running purposefully towards the wall. Eren did a double-take and made to charge it, but Armin, who was perched on his shoulder, tugged at his shaggy hair.

“Wait, Eren! This isn’t a titan, and it isn’t an abnormal either! It’s a shifter, just like you!” Armin worried his lip and squinted his eyes in thought. It was very possible that this shifter was an enemy, just like Bertold and Reiner had been, and was about to attack them. But the features looked strangely familiar. 

The titan had shaggy blond hair and a muscular, skinless body, nearly twice the size of Eren’s titan form. His face was very human-like, with some slits widening his mouthline. Steam clouds hung before his lips.

The most amazing part were his eyes. They were white… and they glowed. 

Blond hair, a tall, muscular figure, and an air of purpose and determination…

“I believe it’s Erwin!”, Armin exclaimed.

The titan raised one hand in an appeasing gesture, and now they saw he was carrying something in his other hand. Something that looked tiny and fragile and unsettlingly familiar, something that let blood drip through the titan’s fingers. As the titan drew closer and held out his palm, Eren recognised what it was.

Levi.

Levi, who was unconscious and barely breathing. Levi, whose right lower leg was missing, and who was bleeding heavily. Eren’s breath stuttered. How could someone lose so much blood and still live? It was clear that he was just hanging on by a thread, his face so pale it looked transcluent, his breathing shallow and uneven.

Eren’s heart hurt, hurt so much he thought he might faint on the spot. Instead, he outstretched his own hand and let his fingertips touch the small figure ever so gently.

The other titan’s - Erwin’s - mouth shifted as he tried to grit out words. Unlike Eren, he was obviously capable of speech.

“Must… save…”, he managed to growl, and Eren nodded, letting his fingers linger on Erwin’s for a moment before he let go. He was torn between terrible grief and fear for Levi, and relief for Erwin. Hearing from the others about the suicidal attack he had believed the commander dead and out of his life, and he couldn’t fathom what had happened that he was not only alive but a titan now. But questions would have to wait until later. In his titan form, Eren found it hard enough to hold on to rational thought anyway. And in this moment, he was more exhausted than he had ever been, having sustained multiple serious injuries and forced to stay in this form for longer than ever.

“The beast titan!”, Armin shouted. “What about the beast titan? Is it still around?”

“Ate… him…” was the growled reply, and there might have been a hint of disgust in Erwin’s titan face.

“Go to the wall! There are medicals waiting near the gate! We will look for other survivors!” Armin waved Erwin on, and the titan took off with remarkable speed.

Eren felt dizzy and nauseous. He had seen so much carnage and bloodshed, and none of it had left him unaffected, each and every death breaking another piece of his heart, but seeing Levi covered in blood, with only little hope of survival, made him terrified, hopeless and physically ill.

His knees buckled as physical and emotional fatigue overwhelmed him, and he was unconscious before he hit the ground.


	2. Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren wakes up and learns what has happened to Levi and Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Symbolism of the chrysanthemum: lasting friendship and affection, rest and recovery, loyalty and devotion  
> Symbolism of the colour orange: gives emotional strength, uplifting and optimistic

Eren awoke to the golden glow of sunrise. His brain took a while to register what his eyes were seeing. He followed the slow motion of the bright rectangle painted on the wall opposite of his bed, too tired and groggy for any thought processes. 

One after the other, he became aware of more sensations. 

Soft warmth covering his body. Linnen. A bed. 

Birdsong. Horses´ hooves in the distant. 

The smell of soap and washed linnens. Desinfectant. Underneath that a faint, unpleasant odour, like decay and rot.

Decay. Rot. Corpses.

Blood.

Levi!

Eren’s eyes flew wide open as all the terror to which he’d lost consciousness washed over him again. Fear. Grief. The blindig rage still boiling in him from eliminating mankind’s hateful enemies. 

He sat bolt upright with a scream stuck in his throat, his hands clawing blindly at the sheets, too hot, too close, he was suffocating, he had to get out, go out and fight, fight them all, kill them all, save Mikasa, Armin… Levi… Levi… Levi and Erwin…

Gentle hands untangled his fingers from the sheets, brushed his hair, accompanied by soft, soothing words. You’re safe, Eren. It’s all good. It’s over.

We’re here.

His flailing arms hit flesh, not scorching hot, skinless or armored titan flesh, but warm human skin and clothing. 

Slowly, the soothing words and touches sank in, and his eyes focused. Two kind, concerned faces, achingly familiar in every dimple and line, though now covered with healing scabs, burnmarks and bruises that he could only vaguely recall. The bruises were fading to a faint yellow, so he guessed that he must have been out of it for some time.

“Mikasa. Armin.”

They smiled, relieved that he finally recognised them, and he threaded his fingers through theirs. He knew now that he was momentarily safe, lying in a sun-flooded room on clean sheets, meaning they must have miraculously made it back inside the walls. Still, the panic didn’t leave him, and it wouldn’t until they had filled him in on what had happened. What the losses were.

If he had killed or hurt someone.

The incident when his titan form had attacked Mikasa still haunted him, especially since he himself had no recollection of it. After that, he had learned to control his titan much better, stay more focused, although his consciousness was still fuzzy at its best. But he was still scared that he would lose control, go rogue and hurt someone.

They read the unspoken question in his frown and pleading eyes.

“You didn’t hurt anybody”, Mikasa said with a gentle squeeze to his right hand. “In fact, you were able to listen to us and cooperate better than ever before. Especially”, her smile broadened, “Jean. I never would have thought that there would be a day when you’d follow his orders, but you did. He stood on your shoulder holding on to your hair, and I thought you’d swat him any minute, not because you were a titan, but because… you know, Jean.”

They all chuckled a little, then Eren grew serious again. “And… Reiner and Bertold?” he asked quietly. “Are they really…?”

“Yes, they’re definitely dead. You and me killed Bertold and we all together finished off Reiner.” Armin’s voice was sad, and Eren flinched. They would be troubled by those deaths for a long time. Reiner and Bertold had been traitors, had tried to murder them and succeeded in killing gods now how many people, but they had once been - had seemed to be - friends and comrades. 

“And the other… that… thing?”

Mikasa and Armin exchanged glances. 

“What? What? Come on, tell me! Did they get him? Did he escape? Why don’t you tell me?” Eren’s heart was racing again, the walls closing in, and sweat started breaking out on his skin.

“We’re pretty sure he’s dead too”, Armin said hesitantly. “There were… remains, traces… that indicate that much. We assume he was eaten by Commander Smith. The thing is, the Commander himself has no memories of it, and Captain Levi…” he broke off and swallowed.

Eren sat bolt upright and grasped Armin’s arm. “But are they all right? The Commander and the Captain? I remember… Levi, and there was blood, there was so much blood…. Armin, is he alive?”

Instead of an answer, Armin looked past Eren and Mikasa to the other end of the room, and puzzled, Eren followed his gaze.

There was another bed in the room, with a chair next to it, but no visitor was attendig to the still figure lying on the bed. A small bunch of orange flowers - chysanthemum, Eren knew, because he recognised them from his mother’s garden - stood on the small bedsite table among medicine bottles and a drinking glass.

No. No. NO.

Pushing Armin and Mikasa aside, Eren got up on wobbly legs and slowly made his way over to the bed. 

Levi’s black hair and eyelashes stood out in a painful contrast to the too pale skin, the features sunken and sharp in a way Eren had seen way too often when he had accompanied his father on his rounds. He knew the look of death approaching.

Levi was dying.

His skin felt cold to the touch as Eren tentatively brought up his hand to grasp a haggard, limp hand that lay on the blanket, but still his brow was covered in a slight sheen of sweat, and his breathing was shallow and labored. The foul smell was distinctively stronger here, despite the autumnal, bitter aroma of the flowers.

“What happened to him?”, Eren asked in a blank voice, but he couldn’t help the small quiver.

Mikasa and Armin had joined him at the bed and looked down sadly at their Captain.

Mikasa’s voice was strained. “He lost half his leg. Bitten off most probably, from the look of the wound. It got infected, and they… they…” she swallowed against her tears, “they took off the rest of the leg to stop it, but it didn’t help. It’s gangrenous and they can’t stop it. And he… he was so weak already from the blood loss… he hasn’t gained consciousness once since…”

“How long? How long has it been?” Anger crept into Eren’s voice, and the look he gave her was almost a glare. He knew it wasn’t her fault, none of this was, but he had to direct the towering rage at someone.

She lowered her eyes, and her response was so quiet it was almost inaudible. “Two weeks. Oh Eren, I’m so sorry…”

Two weeks. He had slept away for two weeks, with Levi dying right next to him, and he hadn’t known, hadn’t t woken up, hadn’t done a single damn thing.

Slowly, he sank to his knees in front of the bed, still holding Levi’s hand as if the man would evaporate completely if he let go. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

It couldn’t be. It mustn’t be. Levi couldn’t die, not like this, not now. Not wasting away in some bed, lonely and forgotten, when they had finally managed to turn the tables in their favor. He had always pictured Levi going down like the fighter that he was, and taking a forest of titans down with him. But this didn’t make sense, it was so cruel, so unnecessary, like fate had played an exceedingly vile joke on him.

Eren felt a sob choking his chest, and suddenly he wished his friends’ soothing hands on his shoulders away.

“Can you… I want to be alone now. Could you…?”

They assured him that they would leave him now and come back later to check on him, that they were so happy he was awake again, and with a last hug they parted to let Eren wallow in his misery.

He dragged the chair close to the bed so he could sit there, hold Levi’s hand and watch the life slowly drain from him, feeling as if his own life energy was seeping out of his body too. It was the first time he could observe his captain’s face for as long as he wished, as closely as he wished, without fear of getting caught or scowled at. But he couldn’t relish it at all. Much rather he would have Levi open his eyes and tell him to quit staring or he’d have to scrub the toilets again. Instead of holding his hand he wished it would ruffle his hair roughly or pat his shoulder in an awkward attempt to express approval, something that had always make his heart skip a little.

Like most soldiers Eren had tried to protect himself from too much attachment, knowing that once a person had settled in his heart it could devastate him if they were taken from him. Their life was hard, and dangerous, and he had to find the fine line where friendship and devotion had to end. Armin and Mikasa were, of course, different, being the childhood friends that they were, but Eren had been wary not to care about more persons too much. That was what he told himself, and yet he had been unable to prevent Levi from slowly and surely rooting in his heart.

Not that the man had much speaking for him... he was short, he was - at least from Eren´s vantage point - old, rude, blunt, awkward and unsociable. Yet Eren had seen the underlying kindness in Levi, and the way the older man´s features sometimes softened when he was unguarded, giving for fleeting seconds a glimpse behind the walls of cutting remarks and condescending looks, tugged at his heart. Watching Levi with his horse, letting the mare nuzzle all over his neat hair and cloak and secretly feeding her some precious treats like a carrot or half an apple had everyone walking around on their tippy-toes with knowing smiles plastered to their faces.

And now that Eren had reached a point where he could no longer deny his feelings, Levi was dying, knowing nothing of the affection he had nurtured in the boy. 

They were alone now, and Eren allowed the tears to fall from his eyes. It was no silent crying, all ugly sobs and hiccups and sniffling, but he couldn´t care less. There was no one to listen anyway, and his rage and despair needed a place to go. It was better than punching a wall which would only hurt like a bitch and make him feel even worse.

He didn´t hear the knock on the door, but he did hear the relieved cry of “Eren!” just before he was scooped up in a tight embrace. A one-armed embrace, he noticed, as his face was pressed into a broad chest and his nose bumped against a bolo tie. It was… unexpected, to say the least, to be hugged by no one less than the Commander, but right now Eren allowed himself to be held, assuming the man meant to comfort him.

When he felt something dampening his hair he pulled back in surprise, only to see his superior crying. 

Eren must be hallucinating. He must still be stuck in his titan’s body, unable to get out, caught up in some delusions. Because Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps, didn’t cry. And certainly did not cling to a common soldier like a drowning man, touch his face and hair and thank all deities imaginable that said soldier was awake and healthy.

Erwin withdrew with an embarrassed little chuckle and dabbed his eyes with his sleeve. He knew that he must seem like a madman, could see it in the boy’s wide, bewildered eyes. 

“I’m sorry for jumping on you like this, Eren. But you can’t imagine how relieved I am that you are whole, and well. I was… we all were worried sick about you. You and Levi…”

“Commander, about the Captain… what happened? Is he… will he…?”

Erwin let out a sigh that sounded like he had held it for weeks. In the glow of the early morning sun, Eren could distinguish the dark shadows under his eyes, his poorly shaved face, the cheekbones more prominent than ever. Erwin had lost weight and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He gestured Eren back to the chair at Levi’s bed and took a seat on the opposite side. Then he took Levi’s hand in his with a familiarity that told Eren he had done so many times before in the past days.

“I did this.”

“What?” Eren gaped in shock.

“You remember we had that shot of serum? Levi used it on me. Caught the guy that was the beast titan, gave me the injection and made me eat him. But I… I must have gone rogue. When I came to, Levi had cut me out of my titan body and was lying next to me, with his leg bitten off. All he said was, “I knew you’re a fucking animal, Smith”, and then he passed out.”

Despite his horror, Eren had to laugh. That sounded so much like the Captain.

Running his thumb gently over Levi’s knuckles, Erwin continued. “There were no horses nearby, and I couldn’t carry him on foot. So I took the risk, I stabbed my arm with the rest of Levi’s sword and shifted again. This time, I was able to maintain control, and bring him back to the wall and the medicals. But I fear it was all too late. If we don’t get a miracle, we will lose him. And I killed him… it’s all my fault…”

Erwin’s eyes filled with tears again, and Eren quickly placed his hand on Erwin’s. 

“Don’t blame yourself. I know what it’s like. Remember I tried to kill my sister? I would never ever hurt her. Well, yeah, sometimes I could kick her ass, but you know what I mean. I hated myself for it too, but she never blamed me. And I’m sure that Levi… that the Captain would never blame you too.”

“No, he wouldn’t. But believe me, Eren, I would rather have a Levi hating me for the rest of his life, than this. I would give everything, would give my life to bring him back.”

His gaze held Eren’s, and the boy knew exactly what the Commander was trying to tell him. Strangely, he didn’t feel any jealousy. Instead, there was a wave of reassurance in the fact that Erwin cared as much for Levi as he did.

“Me too”, he replied, his grip on Erwin’s hand tightening. “I will do anything, give anything to save him.”

Erwin´s eyes dropped to the key on Eren´s neck. “I might have an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I´m overjoyed if I get feedback from you, reader-san.
> 
> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


	3. Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remaining scouts work together to create something... golden.

During the next days Eren refused to leave the hospital room and helped tending to Levi instead. He washed him and turned him in intervals to avoid bedsore, and tried to keep him hydrated. It was a tough task, since you are not supposed to give an unconscious person liquids, but luckily Levi could still swallow. Sometimes, he would become more agitated, groaning and mumbling, and every time Eren hoped he would wake up, but the doctors gave him little hope. The fever and the infection hadn´t broken, despite all their efforts, and Levi would only last a couple of days. The regular changing of bandages revealed the ugly truth every time, and Eren felt like crying when he gently cleaned the heated, infected flesh and smelled its foul odour.

But Eren wouldn´t let him go. He sat by the bed and read to Levi, or told him stories he remembered, or pleaded and ranted at him to not be such a fucking coward and wake up.

Erwin showed up several times a day, much to the displeasure of the higher-ups, because there was still an awful lot of work to be done. Rebuilding, organising, planning, and all of that with a military staff that had dwindled almost to nonexistence. Luckily, after having encountered the titans themselves, and having successfully cooperated, the Garrison and the Military Police had gotten the thumbs out of their backsides and made themselves useful.

The Commander´s heart sank a little every time he knocked on the door, always tense at what sight would expect him, and every time he saw Levi still alive and Eren by his side, he felt relieved. Seeing the boy´s eyes light up when he greeted him, hearing him talk of their day, uneventful as it may seem to an outstander, caused a fondness in him that was almost painful. It was clear that Eren had come over his initial reservation and shyness, had started to see the man behind the uniform as a friend, but so far what connected them was mostly their mutual love for Levi. Eren adressed him by his first name now - at Erwin´s request, and with much adorable blushing - and they hugged goodbye every night Erwin left, but that was all for now.

Erwin filled Eren in on more details of his titan abilities. By eating the beast titan shifter, Erwin had obtained the power to control the titans, something Eren had performed too, but only in great distress. It proved very useful to eliminate the titans that still showed up, maybe coming from farther regions. Furthermore, his right arm had started growing back. In his titan form, he had two arms, but as a human, the stump remained. Erwin´s guess was that because he had lost his arm prior to his injection, it was harder for his body to remember its form and rebuild it. Nevertheless, the stump had prolonged considerably, and by now nearly all of the upper arm was restored, giving hope that one day the limb would be whole again.

On the third day, Erwin had a special surprise. In a wheelchair, he brought Hanji, and Moblit followed them on crutches. Both were covered in large burnmarks, and Moblit sported an eye patch. Hanji´s spine was injured, confining them to the wheelchair, and the healing of the burns was slow and painful. What little was left of their hair was shaved off, but they were as energetic as ever, pulling Eren down for a crushing embrace and proclaiming that they would make scientific progress so fast now that they had two shifters to run tests on. Then they tutted on Levi´s condition and turned to Erwin sharply.

“You better have a plan for him, Erwin”, they said bluntly. “I´m not going to watch my little grumpy man wither away like that. That´s no exit for someone like Levi. He needs to go with a big bang.”

“I have an idea”, Erwin replied. “But for this, I need all of your help and discretion.”

“You see”, he continued, “All this time, we hoped we would find something in the basement of Eren’s home that would help us defeat the titans. Or something that would tell us more about them. And I thought, what if we find more serum, or documents that tell us how to create it? We can use it on Levi to heal him. At this point, I think it’s our only chance. But for that, we´d have to bring him outside the walls. I want to put as little people as possible at risk, and also I don´t want it to get known.”

“Why shouldn´t they know?” Eren asked.

“Eren, times are changing, but the elite and politicians are as corrupt and greedy for power and influence as ever. They must not get their hands on the secrets of the titans. They must not get their hands on the serum. They will use it for their own vile purposes. I want this to stay within the Survey Corps, and within this circle if possible. We will clear out the basement, leaving only innocious stuff behind. If we find serum, we will take Levi outside and use it on him.”

“But how could it work? I can’t shift while I’m injured or exhausted, how should it help him?”

“I was badly injured and hardly lucid when Levi gave me the injection, and it worked on me. My guess is that this transformation is different than a self-induced shift, because the strength for it doesn’t have to come from your own body.”

“And then we have to make him eat someone”, Moblit added darkly. “But… who? Whom should we... sacrifice?”

Eren opened his mouth to say “me”, but Hanji beat him to it. “Annie Leonhard”, they said without batting an eyelid. “Kills two birds with a stone. Levi gets someone to munch on that won´t be missed, and we get rid of the last hostile shifter. Well, the last that we know of.”

Erwin saw no glint of regret or pity in their eyes. As compassionate as they were about their comrades, when it came to making ends meet they were merciless. Erwin knew that he was no saint, and that he could be ruthless in his means, but Hanji could scare even him. He never wanted them as his enemy. Hanji would not only walk over his grave, they would do so whistling a merry tune.

“But she´s locked away in a dungeon, under close surveillance”, Eren said. “How should we get her out without drawing attention to ourselves?”

“Easy. We´ll say that now you have recovered, you and I will finish her off together. No one will question us willingly doing the dirty work, and no one in their right mind would want to be anywhere near. You’re a pretty evil genius, Hanji.” Erwin grinned.

They bowed their head in mock modesty.

“When can we do it?” Eren´s eyes shone with eagerness.

“Since I sensed we had little time to lose, I had Jean, Mikasa and Armin dig out the basement as long as no one was paying attention to it. Right now, there is so much to consider and to do, and the politicians are occupied in getting the biggest pieces of the reclaimed territories. For now, they have forgotten about the basement. Jean came by earlier to tell me they had cleared the doorway. I will have to organise things with Annie, and ask everyone for their assistance. If all goes right, we can do it tonight.”

“So that´s why they haven´t come by much lately? I thought they were growing tired of me.”

“I assure you they haven´t. They weren´t happy about it but they knew this was more important. 

They quickly outlined the plan for the night, then Erwin wheeled Hanji away and demanded that Eren rest - it was going to be a long and ardorous night for him.

**********

When Erwin returned, it was dark outside. In the glow of the candle that some kind soul had lit, he saw that Eren, instead of returning to his own bed, had curled up next to Levi, one arm draped protectively over the smaller man´s chest. Erwin couldn´t find it in himself to blame the boy - he would probably have done the same. If this went wrong, Levi would be soon dead, either quickly from the serum or slowly from the infection that wrecked his body.

Erwin had a soft spot for Eren for quite a while now - it was hard not to, seeing his devotion to what he thought was right, his passion and the determination which made up for most of his other shortcomings. The tenderness and care with which he tended to Levi made it clear that this devotion ran through every part of his personality. That he loved Levi was no source of jealousy for Erwin, but only made him dearer. There was no one who would take care of Levi better, and Erwin slowly realized that he started loving Eren for it.

He brushed some strands of hair from Eren´s forehead and softly called out to him to wake up. Eren made some sleepy noises and nuzzled into Erwin’s hand before slowly blinking awake. His soft gaze and sleep-flushed face was adorable, but ruined ever so slightly by a jaw-breaking yawn. He stretched his lanky limbs, accompanied by a couple of pops and crackles, then he tucked the blankets tightly around Levi and, with a little hesitation, pressed a gentle kiss to the pale forehead. Erwin followed suit, and he murmured into Levi’s hair: “We’ll come back for you later, Levi. Hold on. Just a little longer.”

*****************

As they wound their way through the rubble-covered streets of Shiganshina on horseback, Erwin noticed Eren growing tense, and he wished he could reach out and comfort him, but that would have meant letting go of the reins. His arm had grown another few inches, but it would still last weeks or months until it was complete, and maybe even longer until it was fully functional.

“This must be hard for you, Eren”, he offered at last.

For a long time, there was no reply. “I used to think that I’d be super sad when I return to my home, or that I’d chicken out. As for the basement… this was… my father’s heritance to me, or a way to explain why he did what he did. But right now, all that matters to me is that serum. I thought that I’d be really excited to finally find out what’s down there, you know? But… I’m just too tired and worried to care. Maybe later.”

He glanced at Erwin. “Do you think I’m heartless?”

“No. Just focused on other things. There will be a time for biding farewell. Whenever this mess is over, and you’re ready for it.”

They turned the last corner, and they saw Jean, Armin and Mikasa waiting for them in the hooded shine of a lamp. Their horses were tied up, all equipped with large saddle bags, for they had no idea how much material they would have to get out, and a carriage would have been too obvious. Erwin and Eren dismounted and greeted the others, then there was a moment of awkward silence as everybody waited for Eren to get out his key and unlock the door at last. Just like Eren, they all had expected it to be a great moment in broad daylight, but Erwin’s reasoning made sense. The knowledge that may be hidden here was a threat to humankind if it came into the wrong hands, and it would be best to entrust it to Erwin and Hanji.

Erwin gently squeezed Eren’s shoulder, giving him the reassurance that was obviously needed, and without further ado Eren unfastened the chain around his neck and climbed down the stairs with firm steps.

The door gave way only with much pushing and a combined kick from Eren and Jean. They filed in cautiously, not entirely trusting the ceiling which in some placed bulged under the weight of the collapsed house. In the light of the now uncovered lamp Eren caught a glimpse of his friends’ blistered and bandaged hands - they must have gone through hell to remove all the debris from the entranceway, sawing through beams and moving stones, always in danger of everything crumbling on their heads. He felt a pang of guilt, but then he remembered they had done this not for him, but for Levi, and for Erwin, both of whom they respected and trusted.

Inside, it smelled of dust and mildew, and everything was covered in dust, mortar, straw and wood splinters. In some places, rain and snow had drifted in, causing wood and paper to rot and go moldy. Erwin prayed that nothing vital was among the ruined things. Other shelves and cabinets looked undamaged. A workbench contained bottles and glass vials, a burner and several weird-looking appliances of metal and glass. Another shelf next to it held more glass containers with neat labels. Most of them looked like apothekary supplies, but they would have to look everything closely.  
Closing the door and lighting more lamps, they started to work.

**********

Two hours later, they were on their way back, the saddlebags of their horses stuffed full with books, documents, equipment and, best of all, more serum. Eren had raced the entire place frantically, showing no interest in all the other items, until he found a small wooden box in a cabinet, containing the syringe that they had set all their hopes on. He had slid down the cabinet’s doors until he sat on the floor, weeping with relief, and Mikasa had quietly brushed her fingers through his hair, with a sad, all too knowing smile on her face.

Armin had to be stopped every five minutes from sticking his nose into all the books, and he clearly regretted leaving behind all the harmless medicinal volumes. Jean had gone through the shelves methodically and rearranged the remaining documents so that it wasn’t too obvious that they had taken a large portion. What they couldn’t help, though, was disturbing five years of dust, but they got sand and mortar from outside and distributed it everywhere, so the place would pass upon first inspection.

They carried the bags to Moblit’s quarters, where they would be hidden for the time being, and rested a bit before they moved on to the difficult task ahead. Moblit brewed a pot of lemon balm tea and occasionally shushed Hanji who was getting quite noisy in their excitement and was already spun into a cocoon of paper.

Hanji and Moblit, due to their injuries, would not accompany them, and gave them their best wishes as they parted.

“Remember, Erwin”, Hanji said with eyes that were for once dark and earnest, “Levi has to injest the spinal fluid of a shifter, otherwise he will be trapped as a mindless titan, unable to change back. In this case, you better kill him on the spot and end his suffering. But I would much prefer for you to bring our angry little man back.”

Sneaking back to Levi’s hospital room wasn’t too difficult, since by now it was deep in the night. Eren bundled him up in blankets and lifted the still, limp body bridal style, carefully cradling the lolling head.

A troubled look crossed his face, and Erwin asked with concern: “What’s wrong?”

“He’s so light”, Eren said quietly, and he looked at Erwin with moist, pleading eyes. Let this work, they said. Please, let this work.

Truth be told, Erwin wasn’t sure he could promise that. They were meddling with things they still didn’t fully understand, they didn’t know if the blood loss and the coma had damaged Levi’s brain beyond repair, didn’t know if he could eat Annie with her crystal casing. But Erwin couldn’t tell Eren so. He had to keep himself together now and postpone his possible breakdown until he was in the privacy of his own room. Erwin longed for nothing more than to be able to show his vulnerable and weak sides to someone, to drop his mask of control and reason, to allow himself to be held and accepted. And the persons he desperately wanted for this role were right in front of him now. If he wanted his wish to come true, he had to play the commander for one more night.

He gently brushed his thumb over Eren’s cheekbone. “It will be allright. Levi will be allright. I promised you to do anything, didn’t I?” 

Eren bit his lip and averted his eyes. “I’m just scared. Because without him, or without you, I don’t know what to do.” He looked so small, so frightened all of a sudden, his usual bravado gone without a trace, but Erwin knew he would need every ounce of it. So he did the only thing he could think of, slid his hand to the back of the boy’s neck and bent down to kiss his soft lips, as sweet and affectionate as he could. There was a surprised intake of air, but Eren didn’t shy away from the kiss and returned it without hesitation.

When Erwin broke off, he leaned their foreheads together and murmured: “I’m scared of losing either of you, too. And that’s why I’m giving this my all, and I know you will too. You brought the king to fall, Eren, and you defeated the colossal and the armored titan because you fought for something you believe in. I know you would walk to hell and back for Levi, and that’s why I trust you can do this. For him. For us.”

He pulled back, and there it was, the sparkle in Eren’s eyes, the determination, the will to put everything aside and do what must be done. The boy was still an uncut diamond, reckless and inexperienced, but Erwin knew that one day, when he had more self-control and focus, he would turn into a one man army, fearless and bulletproof and unstoppable like a force of nature.

Eren grasped Levi tighter. “You’re right. Fuck it, we’ll do this, do you hear me, Levi? You’ve slacked off long enough.”

When they reached their destination outside the walls, everything was ready. Again, Mikasa, Jean and Armin were waiting for them, as well as Sasha and Connie, who had guarded the crystallized Annie in their absence. Secretly, Erwin was relieved that Annie didn’t seem to have sensed being taken out of her underground prison and out into the open, because he doubted that Sasha and Connie alone would have been able to stop her. In her way, Annie was even more dangerous than Reiner and Bertold had been, smart, quick and merciless.

Erwin had indeed had no problems convincing everybody that Annie Leonhard was a threat to be eliminated, and that he would be the person best equipped to deal with her. Just like with Eren, the Military Police was all too glad to wash their hands clean of being responsible for her. Some things never changed.

The plan was simple, but Erwin outlined it one last time nonetheless. They would place Levi next to Annie, give him the injection and retreat. No one knew how Levi would react, but both Eren and Erwin had gone berserk during their transformation, and considering Levi’s nature, he would be a severe threat to all of them. After he had eaten Annie, Levi would have to be taken down and freed from his titan form. Erwin and Eren would shift if it was necessary.

He didn’t have to mention that every single one of them could be dead within the next few minutes. They all knew the risk they were taking, and they were all willing to. 

Eren had bedded Levi on the ground, and everybody retreated to a safe distance, their swords drawn. His fingers trembled as they fiddled with the syringe, and his eyes searched for Erwin. The commander gave him a nod, his face calm and confident, and it worked. Remembering the agony and confusion of his first transformation, Eren silently asked Levi for forgiveness and slipped the needle into his arm. Only seconds later Levi’s body started convulsing, and his eyes flew open. 

Eren withdrew the syringe and ran. He didn’t turn around at the shrill screams of pain and fear behind him, but he already knew they would haunt him for the rest of his live. Seeing the shocked, pale faces of the others told him they felt the same. Sasha looked as if she would throw up any second, and Armin’s lips moved as if in a silent prayer.

He did turn around, though, at the explosion of heat and steam.

Levi’s titan was taller than Eren’s, with long black hair and a wide mouth full of vicious pointed teeth. Other than that, his features were remarkably like his human face. He was muscular, with strong legs and arms, and his fingers ended in sharp claws. With a look a these claws, he let out a roar that was horror, confusion and pain. Erwin winced. He didn’t remember his own transformation clearly, only the feelings and a vague collection of images and impressions, all seen through a red haze of rage and despair.

Then Levi’s gaze dropped to the crystallized form at his feet, and he picked it up, his sharp nails cutting the surface effortlessly. The scouts gasped. They had tried so many methods to break through Annie’s crystal, from swords to explosives, and none had worked. It had been their greatest worry that Levi would not be able to break it and injest the sleeping occupant.

Eren’s heart soared as he watched how Levi lifted the object to his mouth and bit into it, the crystal splintering under his teeth. Razor-sharp shards flew around and cut into his lips, but he didn’t stop. Instinctively, he knew what he needed, and nothing would stop him. It was gruesome to watch, the crystal and its occupant crushed between his jaws and swallowed bit by blood-dripping bit, but every bite felt like a triumph for the others.

When it was done, an eerie silence settled. They had successfully transformed Levi and had him eat a shifter, which would hopefully make him a shifter too. Hopefully save his life. But now, they had to get him back to his human form.

Levi simply stood there, swaying slightly, blood dripping from his cut mouth. He made no move to attack the other humans, didn’t show a sign of having even noticed them. That was, until Erwin approached him. Unarmed. 

“Levi”, he called out. “Do you recognise me? Do you know who you are?”

Levi’s reaction was as instantanous as stunning. His skin adopted a metallic gleam, and his teeth and claws became crystallic. More crystalline shapes formed on his back, shoulders and arms. Erwin’s mouth hang open. Levi was armored in gold and gems. This titan had turned into the world’s weirdest, tallest sculpture. A sculpture that moved and was currently hissing steam at Erwin.

Still, Levi made no move to attack Erwin, and he took that as encouragement. He made some more steps forward, seeing the others tense and grasp their sword more firmly from the corner of his eye. 

“Levi. I’m sorry we had to do this to you. I’m so sorry. We had to. You were dying. And now we have to get you out of there.”

The titan roared and hissed again, looking more like a cornered animal than like a monster that could sqash the tiny human with his thumb. And then he dropped to the ground and bared his neck. 

By the time Erwin jumped up on his back, Levi had already started emerging. Eren was by his side in an instant, and together they freed Levi from the remaining tissue that connected him to the already steaming body.

Weakly, Levi opened his eyes and looked at them. “You fucking assholes. You don’t expect me to thank you for this mess, do you?” Then he closed his eyes again, but it wasn’t slipping back into the coma, but the sleep of pure exhaustion, and maybe trying to escape their tears and laughter and kisses and general sappiness.

The others had come running up as well, and as Eren shouted at them: “It worked, he’s fine, he’s back!”, they cheered and hugged and fistbumped. Mikasa was openly crying, and even Jean wiped at his eye grumbling something about “fucking titan steam, always clogging up one’s nostrils”.

Erwin thanked each and every one of them, with a voice so unsure and wrecked it didn’t sound like him at all. The scouts felt awkward, he could tell - seeing their commander so emotional was out of their comfort zone. Still, even if they insisted that naturally they’d do anything for their squad leader, he felt the need to thank them. After all, this had been his doing, his failure, and no matter what Eren or anyone else said, and even if Levi forgave him, it would be a long time before he could forgive himself.

Levi was still fast asleep when they reached the hospital, and somehow there was no question of Erwin returning to his own quarters. Eren moved both beds together, and he and Erwin curled up around Levi. Although it had been an incredibly long and draining day, sleep eluded them. Instead, they quietly marvelled at Levi’s soft, even breathing, his healthy complexion and warm hands, all announcing his recovery.

**********

In the morning, Levi surfaced from clouded and bloody dreams to the feeling of safety and home. His face was comfortably tucked into a male chest, and another body was plastered against his back. His right leg hurt like hell, but otherwise he was feeling fine. He had no clue why he was in bed with two other persons, so he tried to retrace his steps to where his memory turned fuzzy. 

Slowly, he reached down to feel his leg, and his fingers traced the bandages around the stump.

“It will grow back, Levi”, the man in front of him said.

“Oh. Okay.”

Silence.

“It’s Erwin and Eren, right?”

The man chuckled. “Well guessed.”

Another voice behind him asked nervously: “Is… is that okay with you, Captain?”

Levi sighed. “Yes, Eren, it’s okay, and under the current circumstances, namely your morning wood poking my ass, you may drop the formalities.”

Eren spluttered indignantly, and Erwin laughed again. Levi watched the sun painting golden patterns on the wall and decided that all questions could wait until later. Right now, he felt more secure and peaceful than he ever had, and he closed his eyes and allowed himself to bask a little more in their warmth and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Levi is allright again, finally!
> 
> "Green" may be posted a day late, I can't promise to finish it on time since I had a lot of editing to do on this chapter oTL
> 
> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


	4. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi discovers a lot of new things.  
> Or:  
> The chapter in which the author blatantly ignores canon facts and meta on titans, Grisha and Zeke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took me so long! As an apology, accept the first bits of smut :)

A couple of hours later Levi still had questions, but he wasn´t too sure if he really wanted the answers.

His mind was spinning from the news that kept being poured down on him. Most of them were good news, but the sheer amount was still overwhelming. Erwin being able to control his titan and shift at will. Braun, Hoover and the Beast Titan annihilated, along with what seemed nearly all of the titans. His squad having proven their worth, and ending nearly unscathed. Hanji and Moblit alive, albeit crippled and scarred. Eren alive and in annoyingly high spirits.

And then his own… change. He didn´t know yet if he should be bitter about having become one of the creatures he had loathed and fought for so many years. If he should resent Erwin and Eren for making the choice for him. But when he listened closely to what his feelings said, he simply couldn´t. After all, he had served his purpose as “humanity´s strongest”. He was no longer needed, his skills and experience no longer asked for. They could have let him die in peace. But they had chosen not to. Because they wanted him around, the person that was Levi Ackerman, wanted him so bad that they preferred having him in this shape rather than having him dead. Erwin and Eren had taken a high-risk gamble, and everyone else had willingly assisted, not out of the necessity of the battlefield, not because logic and calculation said so, but out of friendship, affection and maybe love.

No, he corrected himself, thinking of the utmost care with which Eren carted him about, of the fondness that had crept into Erwin´s voice. Definitely love, and his heart ached at the implication. Levi was pretty sure that he wasn´t worthy of being loved or able to return it. Having lost the few people who had meant something to him, and used to being around people who only valued him by his worth as a fighter, he had retreated behind walls and fences, secured himself from caring too much. 

But here they were, two idiots who seemed to be dead set on breaking down all his defenses. Erwin, who had always acted as if he was totally oblivious to them, stalking past hurtful words, dodging insults and smiling in the face of his spite. And Eren, shy and nervous, seemingly shrinking away at his tongue-lashing, but prodding and testing for weak spots again and again, not even subtle in his attempts, because Eren couldn´t be subtle to save his life.

In the morning, the doctors and nurses had completely lost their shit at his miraculous recovery, some attributing it to their medical skills, others mumbling about the secret ways of nature, and it was not without effort that Erwin was able to convince them to discharge Levi into his care. Miracle healing or no, Levi´s leg growing back would certainly cause questions and suspisions, and they couldn´t afford that. It was no secret that Erwin himself and Eren were shifters, and they were deemed a necessary evil, but transforming Levi without any martial necessity surely wouldn´t be without consequences.

Having reached this point of his own ponderings as well as the general conversation, Levi scoffed: “So, what now? Do you expect me to keep chopping it off?”

“Allow me to present a solution”, Moblit answered respectfully, and Levi narrowed his eyes in interest. Moblit hardly spoke, but when he did it was always worth listening. Also, the man was pretty clever, having developed the thunder spear with Hanji and countless other improvements of their equipment.

Moblit then produced a leg prosthesis, which at first glance was pretty unspectacular. The bowl-shaped top would be fixed to the leg stump, then followed a metallic leg with a knee joint. The foot was made of wood and given a natural shape so it could be worn with a shoe. The nifty detail was that both upper and lower leg could be adjusted in length, so as Levi´s leg grew he could shorten the prosthesis. The only tricky bit would be the phases when his knee and foot grew back, but during those days he could pretend to be sick and stay in his quarters. Worn with pants and shoes, nobody could tell the difference, and his improving stance could be explained with getting used to the prosthesis. 

Levi was impressed. Moblit must have thought pretty far in advance, given that this wasn´t an item you´d just weld together in a couple of hours. Working on it must have been difficult and painful, since most of his right arm and hand were a mass of scarring burnt tissue, still covered in tight bandages and seeping ichor in some places. His face was badly burned too on the right side, and the healing flesh was already shrinking and pulling his mouth into a lopsided grin. But his good left eye was bright and kind as always as he helped Levi put on the prosthesis and tugged him up to stand. Eren brought a pair of crutches, and soon Levi was hobbling through the room, cheered on by his friends. Hanji, in their wheelchair, clapped their hands in glee, and Eren clutched on to Erwin, looking as if he was going to burst. When Levi glanced at the commander, he saw a look of quiet pride and joy in blue eyes that held a suspicious amount of moisture, and he quickly had to look away.

Moblit guided him and showed him how to move his leg to make the knee swing halfway natural, and he was confident that with some practise he could replace the crutches with a walking-stick.

After that, it was Hanji´s turn to fill them in on what they had gathered from Grisha´s documents. They had spend the whole night sorting and reading, and although they had only scratched the surface they were convinced that the papers were fragmentary, assembled from various sources, and some of it even hearsay. Still, it brought new knowledge, or at least confirmed some of their theories.

What Hanji had read confirmed their suspicions that the titans had indeed been created by man, maybe as work slaves, and controlled and commanded by shifters. On a deep, instinctive level titans craved to shift back to their human form. And since they could only accomplish this if they injested spinal fluid of a shifter, it was their natural instinct to seek and devour humans. This explained why titans did what they did, even if they lacked digestive organs and eventually had to throw up once their stomachs were full. 

Levi found himself almost pitying them. They were monsters, yes, but somebody who was an even greater monster had created them. To think that they were even dimly aware of what was happening to them was horrible. Levi had killed countless amounts of them, and while one may argue that he had put them out of their misery, he had often inflicted pain on them just for the hell of it. His own memories of the previous night were very dim, but he did remember the feeling of pain, terror and disorientation, and the overwhelming need to feed on human flesh, a need so great he even had bitten through solid crystal, shattering his teeth and slicing his mouth, tongue and throat in the process. And after that, weird images had crossed his mind, memories of places and people that were not his own.

They had also learned that while a shifter had to cure his injuries first before they could titanise again, the initial injection was strong enough to trigger transformation even on sick and wounded persons. Plus, the person would be cured of all present diseases and injuries, albeit a lot slower. Hence, Eren had regrown the limbs he had lost after transformation much quicker than Erwin and Levi were currently knitting themselves up. Any body parts they lost after this, however, would be replaced a lot faster.

“It also seems that Grisha knew the man inside the beast titan, a person called Zeke”, Hanji continued. “He hints at a tribe of warriors, similar to what Reiner said. It seems he was sent out prior to the attacks as a spy, but then he met Carla, made friends and questioned his mission. I reckon that’s why, when the attack came, he gave Eren the coordinate to sabotage Zeke’s plans. A lot of it is pretty cryptic, though.” They sighed. “What bothers me is that we don’t know how many of those warriors existed or still exist, if they have already mingled with us or if they retreated after the death of their leader. Without any means to detect them, we might never know. But, on the bright side, we have three shifters on our side, two of which have the coordinate. Plain ole’ titans will be no longer a threat for us.”

As comforting as those words were meant, they still let a shiver run down Levi’s spine. Finally, he claimed fatigue, and let Erwin gently usher Hanji and Moblit outside. His squad had already expressed the wish to see him the next day, and as much as he knew he couldn’t possibly decline them, and that he also must thank them for what they had done, he felt exhausted only thinking of it. For now, he snuggled into clean blankets and enjoyed the first minutes of quiet on this day.

Erwin had placed his own bedroom at Levi’s disposal, for as long as he needed or wanted it, and claimed that the bench in his office was good enough for himself with a couple of blankets. Furthermore, he’d given Eren leave to tend to Levi’s needs. 

An hour of fitful dozing and strange dreams of all too tender hands and soft voices a quiet knock on the bedroom door announced Eren’s wish to make himself useful. He gingerly opened the door a bit and, on seeing that Levi was awake, entered with a cup of fresh tea.

“I thought you might like something to drink, Cap… Levi.” It was obvious how the boy savoured pronouncing his name, even if he still stumbled over his rank first. “Would you like anything else? Something to eat?”

Levi drank the tea, feeling as if he hadn’t had a proper cup in ages… well in fact this was true.

“You could help me take a bath. I feel like I reek like a dead possum, and my hair’s all sticky. Disgusting.”

Eren’s face went through some interesting shades of pink and pale. “Oh, I can run a tub for you, of course, but… I mean…”

“What? I hear you’ve been washing me and shit. There’s certainly no part of me alien to you now, so I don’t see why you couldn’t help me get in and out of the bath.”

Eren looked as if he might beg to differ, but with a clenched jaw he retreated to run the bath. When he came back to collect Levi, he seemed no better and averted his eyes as Levi unceremonously undressed.

“What are you waiting for? Help me get in already.” 

Reluctantly, Eren did as he was told, still looking elsewhere and promptly almost slipping and diving into the tub headfirst himself.

Levi almost chided him, but thought better of it and reached for the soap. “Eren. Take that stool and keep me company and calm the fuck down. Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?”

Eren sat down and leaned his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know. I just… worry that you’d scold me, or something.”

“Why should I? You´re helping me.” Levi continued lathering his arms with soap for a minute before he grumbled: “And I wouldn´t mind you looking at me for other reasons.”

Eren´s head whipped around so fast his neck cracked, but he rubbed only absend-mindedly at it while his grin shone brighter than the sun.

“What… like… really?”

Levi shrugged, trying - and failing - to be nonchalant. “Well, I figured you´d want to, given that you´re practically drooling all over yourself when I´m around. And you´re not bad, either.”

Eren grabbed hold of the rim of the bath tub. “And what about Erwin?” Levi looked up and suddenly felt very much like a mouse cornered by an expectant cat. His cheeks turned pink.

“He´s… okay too! What do you want to hear? I don´t know what you two even see in me, let alone what you want with me, you´d be much better off with each other happily ever after, I´m not cut out for sappy romance shit…”

Eren listened to his rant, a barely there smile tugging at the corner of his lips and wrinkling his eyes. He rested his chin on his hands, and wasn´t it just unfair how cute and wistful he looked even with the messy hair and dark circles under his eyes that spoke of his long days and nights of sitting watch.

“Levi”, he called out softly, “can I kiss you?”

“... and anyway why would you even want to hook up with someone who could be your dad, and… what?”

Patiently, Eren repeated: “ I asked if I could kiss you.”

Levi didn´t say yes, but he also didn´t say no, nor did he sneer or scoff, and if the boy didn´t get the hint that this was as much permission as he would get, then there was no helping him. But Eren, even though he wasn´t the smartest, did get the hint and leaned forward to brush his lips lightly against Levi´s.

It had been ages since Levi had been kissed, and not really knowing what to do he closed his eyes and let Eren take the lead. It wasn´t long before he felt tentative fingers cupping his face and Eren´s tongue dragging across his lips. He parted them slightly in invitation and regretted it instantly, because whatever Eren thought he was doing with his tongue in Levi´s mouth was more wet and enthusiastic than sensual, and it was painfully obvious the boy was lacking any kind of experience. Struggling to break away for some air Levi slipped down the tub and his head submerged, and being tugged off balance Eren landed halfway in the water too.

This was the moment they heard a polite cough from the doorway. “Am I interrupting something?” Erwin´s face had a look between amused and quizzical.

“Not at all!” Eren sat across Levi´s lap with his legs dangling over the ege of the tub, his hair dripping and his clothes soaked, and he clutched to Levi´s neck, fully oblivious of the murderous glint in his eyes.

“Erwin, he likes us too and he wants to be with both of us, he´s just to shy to admit it…”

“What the fuck are you saying there, I never said anything remotely like that…”

“Isn´t that wonderful? Oh Levi, this is the happiest day of my life!”

“Erwin, don´t believe a word from him, it´s nothing…” Levi was cut off by another eager, messy kiss, and when he finally managed to push Eren´s face away, he rolled his eyes at the smirking commander.

“For fuck´s sake, please tell me that you can kiss better than this.”

**********

The next weeks, as they slowly grew accustomed to each other and ventured first sexual experiments, proved that Eren indeed had a lot to learn. Adding to his abysmal lack of practical knowledge he possessed little stamina and self-control, and often whined embarrassed into the pillows because he´d come again before things had even started getting interesting.

And Levi wasn´t really one to teach. Because, much as it pained Erwin and Eren to admit it, Levi sucked in bed, and not in a good way.

His idea of seduction was “Should we fuck or what?”. Lust he understood, lust he could handle, but any display of affection, be it verbal or physical, had him slowly backing to the door. Until then, sex had been a means for mutual release for him, a pleasant yet sweaty activity that had the side effect of relieving stress. But being emotionally involved, being tenderly touched, kissed or spoken to overwhelmed him, and his way of nipping it in the bud was acting impatient and demanding to leave this mushy shit aside and get it over with already. Sometimes he’d untangle himself and claim that he’d be content watching them and jacking off.

Except that he wasn’t content. He watched hands reverently mapping out skin, fingers combing through blond and brunet hair. Languid kisses, smiles and sighs. He was torn between desperately wanting part of it and the urge to turn tails and run. Only when he was very sleepy or thoroughly sated he allowed himself to be held. He knew it pained Eren and Erwin, but they never pressured him, and he was thankful for that.

Late one night, while Eren was already softly snoring, one leg draped over Erwin’s hip, Levi inched closer to Erwin to leech on the man’s warmth and was surprised when a strong arm wrapped around him and pulled him close so his back was snuck against Erwin’s chest. Too tired to argue, he conceded.

“Why are you denying yourself this, Levi”, Erwin rumbled softly against his back, his voice pointedly kind.

“I’m not denying you anything, we have sex all the time”, Levi yawned.

“Yes, you have sex with us. But I want to make love to you. That’s a difference. But it’s not what I want that counts. I wouldn’t bring this up if I thought you were happy with the way things are. But you’re not.” Erwin let his hand skim lightly over Levi’s stomach. “If I can do anything for you to open up, to make it easier on you, please let me know. You know there’s nothing you can’t ask me for. I just want to see you happy.”

Levi said nothing, but his fingers crept up to cover Erwin’s hand. “I know I can trust you. But I’m shit with feelings, and when you two look at me like you love me, I just panic. It’s like I don’t deserve it… ” He paused. “I don’t think I’ll ever be the huggable type, but what you said… about making love… it doesn’t sound too bad. If only it wasn’t all too much, too overwhelming.”

Erwin intertwined their fingers and pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder. “You only have to allow as much closeness as you feel comfortable with. So… too much, hmm? I’ll see what we can do about that.”

**********

“You know, Erwin, when you said you’d think of something, I had no clue you were thinking about blindfolding me. Since when are you into kinky stuff?”

“Oh, stop griping, Levi”, Erwin chided softly and adjusted the blindfold around Levi’s head, brushing his bangs out of his face. “You consented to this, didn’t you? When you can’t see us, you can concentrate on what you feel. And I promise we won’t say any mushy stuff. If it gets too much, we can stop any time, okay? Just see what you’re comfortable with.”

Levi nodded and exhaled. Something in his chest fluttered as he was slowly undressed, like an expensive and long-awaited gift is unwrapped. Just as Erwin had promised, he and Eren remained mostly silent, but every touch on his skin, every kiss spoke of love and adoration, loud and clear. He couldn’t remember even having been held and caressed like this, like he was precious and fragile. It was terrifying at first, but he fought the urge to run and allowed himself to let go. It certainly helped that Eren had improved a lot on kissing. He kissed what felt like every inch of Levi’s skin, nipping and licking here, breathing butterfly kisses there, in between claiming Levi’s mouth until his lips were spit-slick, swollen and begging for more. 

For a one-armed man, Erwin’s hand seemed to be everywhere, teasing, spreading, fondling, until after what felt like an eternity his slicked up fingers wrapped around Levi’s straining erection. Erwin stroked him without haste, built him up maddeningly slow, all the while mouthing along his neck and shoulders. Levi swam in a sea of bliss, all awkwardness and discomfort forgotten, secured in gentle touches and hushed whispers of reassurance. It had never been like this. This time, his arousal rose like a tide, along with a rush of love for the men who treated him like gold. Like the tide, it was slow but mighty and unstoppable, and when Erwin’s hand was replaced by Eren’s mouth, sucking him in hot and wet, he didn’t last much longer and could only choke out a warning before he came. Eren didn’t budge but swallowed all he had to give while he came calling their names and seeing stars in the blackness behind the blindfold.

Coming down from his climax, Levi felt stupid tears beginning to leak, and try as he might he couldn’t stop them. The blindfold was gently removed from his face, and he was held by strong arms and soothed with gentle hands while he curled up between them and cried out all the years of loneliness and rejection.

**********

During the next days, Levi seemed edgy, and Erwin worried that they might have pushed him too far. He and Eren made it a point of backing off, letting Levi time to breathe and come back to them when he was ready. And come back he did, drifting in as if drawn by magnetic forces. He was grateful they allowed him to proceed at his own pace, that he was neither rejected for being difficult nor forcibly pulled in, that they wanted him to feel comfortable. And every step he took forward was rewarded tenfold, seeing both of them melt under his touch and realizing he had just as much love to give as to receive. Being able to kiss Eren silly, to make Erwin boneless under his fingers was exhilarating. It was the first time he could reach out and be accepted, to let himself fall and be caught. But what made his heart swell the most was how his lovers opened up to him, trusting he would keep them safe. Eren talking about his mother, all soft and vulnerable. Erwin admitting his exhaustion from his daily ordeal that was a commander´s responsibility and letting himself be spoiled rotten.

With Levi recovering and growing more independend as he quickly mastered his crutches and the the walking stick, Eren had to return to his duties. Much to his chagrin, Jean had been assigned squad leader, and even though they got along better now, he still griped and moaned wholeheartedly at Jean playing the superior trump card. With their experience in operating missions outside the walls, it had fallen to the Survey Corps to secure routes and organize logistics, while the Garrison and Military Police were in charge of resettlements. People had started trickling back into the reclaimed areas, and since not all of them stuck to taking what was theirs to claim, settling arguments and arresting looters was their main task. 

With Erwin and Eren out and about and working themselves to the bone, Levi was left behind to pass the days to his liking, and was soon bored out of his mind. He tried training with his vertical manoevering gear but had to give up after faceplanting upside-down into a tree, since he couldn´t use his right leg properly. The artificial joint was simply too stiff and unresponsive to properly balance and shift his weight. Grudgingly, he tried to make himself useful with the inane mountains of paperwork that were for some reason still riding high in administration, but Hanji had already beat him to it. Also, Hanji pointed out that his lavish usage of four letter words in official documents and reports wasn´t exactly appropriate.

Frustrated, he saddled his horse and set out. Only meaning to give the mare and himself some exercise and fresh air, he rode with no particular destination in mind. Autumn was already drawing near, but most foliage and the meadows still bore the dull green of late summer. Wild flowers speckled the wayside, and Levi let the reigns loose, both him and the animal content with a leisurly trot. There were other riders on the road and carriages, announcing the bustle of getting the crops in. As he recognised a vaguely familiar building in the distance, he turned into a field way leading there.

Levi had never had the time to pay a visit to the orphanage that Christa… no, Queen Historia had founded. He had little liking for children, all runny noses and sticky fingers, and many people had raised eyebrows that he had been one of the forces behind the orphanage for underground children. Little did they know how well he was accustomed with the kids´ needs.

Drawing closer, he saw children playing tag in the garden outside the house, watched by a couple of women. One of the children, a girl with long blond hair, saw him approaching and waved. She ran in his direction and jumped up on the fence surrounding the garden.

“Somehow I should have known you’d be here”, Levi greeted her. “Your majesty.”

**********

Historia had shushed away her guards and made tea for herself and Levi. Since her coronation, she had gained a lot of confidence, and she carried herself less like a little girl who was scared to speak up. But her laughter and the way she pushed her messy hair carelessly out of her face was as charmingly girlish as ever.

“It’s a good thing I meet you here”, she said after having poured the tea for her guest and herself. “Actually I am going to visit you to express the Queen’s gratitude for your services and so on. Now you can give the othes a heads-up to polish their boots. Not that you’d ever let them walk around in boots that are less than sparkling.”

“Right now, I don’t have much say in the matter, since I’m still on leave”, Levi answered and knocked lightly on his prosthesis. “But I heard that squad leader Jean keeps a pretty high standard.”

“I heard about your leg. I’m sorry”, she said softly. “It must be awful for you to be physically inactive.”

“How are the kids doing?” Levi wasn’t even subtle in changing the subject, but Historia didn’t seem to mind. Immediately, her face lit up.

“Oh, it’s so wonderful to watch the little tykes flourish! Give them some fresh air and food and they’re almost like normal children! And everything, from a daisy to a cow, is a miracle to them. It’s so gratifying to make them happy.” Historia smiled softly. Then she sighed, and her gaze darkened. “If only I could bring more of them out. If only I could bring all of those people out.”

Levi sipped on his tea. “Why don’t you do it, then? I thought you’re the Queen?”

Historia snorted. “Yeah right, and where should they all live?”

“I believe that during that murderous resettlement campaign, as well as hunger, has killed the majority of people that used to live in Wall Maria. There’s lots of property that doesn’t have an owner, or an heir. What happens with this property?”

“It falls to the Crown”, Historia said slowly.

“The Crown being you.”

Silence ensued, and Historia fiddled with the handle of her chipped tea cup. “I can’t just give away all this land, all these houses for free. The nobles would demand my head.”

“Then don’t give it away for free. Accept their lodgings in the Underground as payment. Oblige them to cultivate the land, trade with necessary goods, whatever.”

“Levi, as I understand it, Wall Maria is not guaranteed to be free of titans.”

He shrugged. “I know those people. Don’t forget I’m one of them. They’re tough like sewer rats. They’ll survive. It takes a lot more than a couple titans to get rid of the Underground folk.”

“Many of them are notorious criminals.”

“So am I”, he shot back. “And look waht’s become of me once I saw the sun. No matter where, there will always be criminals. But this way you will scatter them instead of having them a couple of meters under your royal feet. Besides… you will remove a great source of corruption of the Military Police.”

Historia pondered a while over that, her face hidden behind a curtain of golden hair. When she looked back up at Levi, a sly smile was on her lips.

“Captain Levi, I have a special order for you.”

**********

A couple of weeks later, Levi rode towards the Capital, accompanied by Sasha. He had asked for her because she was perfect for the job: she was fresh and pretty, she looked innocent and non-threatening, and she didn’t take shit from no one. Who didn’t know her had no clue how well she could hold herself in a fight, how deadly her arrows and daggers were. Levi had asked for one other soldier, a member of the Military Police, and she wasn’t too happy about the assignment.

“Good evening, Hitch”, Levi greeted her in front of the Headquarters, where she had waited for them.

“Good evening, Captain Levi”, she answered stiffly, then added with a nod: “Sasha.”

“Can you show us our rooms, Hitch?” Levi asked as he brushed past her, as swift as his walking stick allowed. “It’s late and I’m tired from the journey, and I want to get started early tomorrow morning.”

“Of course. This way, sir.” she held the door for them and walked ahead. “May I ask what this assignment is, Captain?” I haven’t been informed yet.”

“We will go into the Underground. “And there, we will promote the Queen’s offer.”

She gaped at him as if he had lost his mind. “Queen Historia has an offer for the Underground people… and sends you to promote it?”

“She seems to be of the opinion that every human deserves a chance to walk under the sun, just like you and me. The offer is to move out of the Underground. And since I know my way around there, she sent me.”

“But… why me, Captain? Why do I have to go with you?”

“We need a member of the Military Police with us, due to their competence. I remember you were quite convinced of the values of the Military Police, weren’t you? Well, I think you should take a look at what your less… honorable comrades and superiours are responsible for.” Levi ruffled her curly hair. “I always appreciated your diligence, Hitch. See you tomorrow.”

**********

The next morning saw Levi, flanked by his female escort, stalk determinedly down into the Underground and weave through a labyrinth of lanes and allys. Sasha and Hitch both grew pale at the foul air down here, but Levi didn’t bat an eyelid. If it affected him to be down here, he didn’t give it away.

“Where are we going, Levi?” Sasha asked, earning a stern glance from Hitch at adressing him so casually.

“First, we’ll see some old…acquaintances of mine”, Levi replied. “They’re quite influencial down here, so I want to start with them.”

A couple of minutes later, he halted in front of what looked to be an inn. He pushed the door open and entered, unheeding the harsh shout of “We’re not open, get lost!”

The innkeeper looked up at who had the audacity of coming in this early and paled. He was built like a wardrope, and a bandana covered his dull blond hair. His equally blond beard was neatly trimmed.

“Oh gods, what are you doing down here? I’m not involved in dirty business, I swear.”

“Yes, yes, and all those fancy tins and bottles were legally obtained, I know.” Levi pointed at the well-stacked cupboard behind the bar. “But I’m not here because of that. In fact, I just might forget I ever saw this. Say, how’s business going?”

The man shrugged. “Not terribly well. It’s more and more difficult to organize stuff, and it’s getting more and more expensive.”

In the background, a curtain rustled, and a woman appeared. She was well past her best years, and her wrinkly face was covered by a thick layer of flaking makeup. Harsh red lipstick accentuated her mouth. Her greying hair was braided, and she wore a dress with a tight bodice, revealing rather more of her cleavage than anybody was comfortable with. Discovering Levi, she smiled.

“Oh, Levi! It’s been so long! What have you been up to all these years? I heard you’re in the military? And my, don’t you look dashing in this uniform. And what pretty young ladies you brought with you!” she pinched Sasha’s cheek and turned at the innkeeper harshly. “Where are your manners, groom - offer your guests something to drink, will you.”

The difference in the reaction of husband and wife was so striking that Sasha and Hitch could only watch the exchange in silence and muse about the background story. Having taken seats and accepting just a drink of water, Levi started talking business. He showed the man some documents, stating he was entitled to make an offer in Queen Historia’s name. The innkeeper and his wife listened intently and incredulously. Their inn in exchange for a small town bar or country inn, somewhere in Wall Maria. Getting out of here, and more or less for free? They wouldn’t leave anything behind they would regret losing.

“This is the Queen’s offer, but in fact I have another deal for you, but that’s only among us. The Survey Corps needs a new canteen. I know your grub is edible, and you have a talent for… organizing ingredients. All we require is three meals a day, no drunkards, no long nights. How does that sound?”

The pair exchanged glances. “What is my part in the deal, then?”, the barkeeper asked, leaning back with his arms crossed. He may be much, but he certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Help me spread the word. Out there, in Wall Maria, there’s space right now, and we need every hand to get everything up and running again. It’s the chance for you all to get out of here and go somewhere green. Many won’t want to, because they don’t trust the officials and the military. But they will trust you.”

The innkeeper looked at his wife, who nodded. He spit into his right hand and held it out. “Deal.”

********

“You kids are dying to here how I know them, don’t you?” Levi asked when they were out in the street again and he could wipe his hand on a tissue with a grimace. Hitch and Sasha nodded eagerly.

“Well then. You may have noticed he’s a bit on the buff side. He used to beat every single man in armwrestling, and brag horribly about it. He offered a free meal and anything out of his bar to the man who would beat him. Anything at all, including his wife. I took him up on the bet and I won. His wife was screaming blue murder at him for making such a stupid bet, but I didn’t take her. Instead, I got myself the finest tin of tea leaves I ever had. Naturally, she was delighted.”

The girls shook with laughter all the way down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls feed me with kudos and comments,
> 
> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


	5. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peaceful but boring winter brings some rest before Eren and his friends have a promise to fulfill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait but this is a looong chapter and I wanted to get everything right. The emotional parts were v draining but then again, this chapter was also incredibly fun.
> 
> Heads up: there is hunting and fishing mentioned in this chapter so some animals will be killed. There are no gruesome details but I´m mentioning this just in case.

The rest of summer and autumn passed in a blur of activities. Levi was in the capital and the Underground for weeks on end, and the slow but continuous flow of people who showed up in the MP headquarters to subscribe their belongings for a house or a piece of land somewhere in Wall Maria proved his efforts. For once, Levi blessed the mindless bureaucracy - no one raised the subject that most of the underground people were too poor to be the actual owners of the houses or flats they turned in when they were able to produce a document with his signature. 

There was, of course, a lot of opposition from the nobles, and thus the land and dwellings that were given to the underground people were very modest, hardly more than shacks or huts, the plots stamp-sized. Levi didn’t mind - he knew his people. Compared to where they came from, it was still palaces, and they were hardboiled and would squeeze a living out of the little they were given, and prosper. More spite than actual resistance came from the Military Police, who saw their extra income going down the drain but who didn’t dare oppose a direct order from the crown.

Hitch Dreyse had been appalled at the amount of bribery and corruption she witnessed down there from her supposed comrades. Goods were hard to get, and hardly anything was brought underground without the Military Police having knowledge and claiming their share. She kept her mouth shut and her eyes open, documenting everything she witnessed. When this campaign was over, she would turn them all in. Levi couldn’t persuade her to join the Survey Corps - her mouth was set in a thin line when she explained to him that she had to stay to help make the Military Police what it was supposed to be. Knowing she had chosen the more difficult path, he dropped the subject - soldiers like Hitch were needed in the Survey Corps but they were even more needed in the MP.

Erwin had to supervise the rebuilding of something that at least resembled a military unit, the lack of staff being the most painful obstacle. New recruits were in training already, but it would be years before they could fill the empty slots. Now, with the titans gone, an incredible amount of applicants wanted to join the Survey Corps, smelling adventure without the risk of being eaten alive, and part of him resented the youths, but he accepted them anyway. The grueling training would sort out all the slackers and wannabes.

With the titans gone, the Survey Corps and the Garrison faced the greatest changes. Neither going on missions nor protecting the walls from attacks were noteworthy tasks anymore, although they still kept a lookout and had to get rid of the occasional titan still roaming the lands in Wall Maria. Currently, they were more busy with monitoring the relocating, documenting and reporting the state of settlements, establishing supply and trade routes, and helping with all kinds of repairs.

Erwin too had to travel a lot, schmoozing up Zackley and his staff to keep the Survey Corp going and charming the Capital into forgetting that he and Eren (and, unknown to them, Levi) were shifters and therefore a possible threat. He had to consult with Nile Dok and Dot Pixis, commanders of the Military Police and the Garrison, occasionally supervise the ongoing training of the recruits, and perform a thousand other tasks and representation duties.

Eren stopped counting the times he was asked to shift in order to do all kinds of heavy work. He tore down half collapsed houses in Shiganshina, moved debris and boulders, and carried tons of equipment, material and supplies. At night he faceplanted into his bed and was often out before he even hit the sheets. Sometimes he snuck into Erwin’s quarters, but more often than not they were both too tired for anything else than a back massage and some precious minutes of talking. At least he got Erwin to leave his paperwork and turn in at a halfway decent time. It made Eren happy to see the eternal worry lines on Erwin’s forehead smooth out when he was around, and some of these nights he would watch Erwin sleeping, his head rested on Eren’s chest, and he’d softly card through the blond hair that was so much softer than it looked and feel a wave of protectiveness surge through him. Eren had fallen for Erwin gradually, and part of it was that the commander needed someone so badly to look out for him and care for him and didn’t even realize it. But it showed in the willingness with which he opened up to Levi and Eren, his readiness to be comforted.

They both missed Levi terribly, but they knew he was happy having been granted this opportunity, which covered both his need to be active and useful and his lifelong wish to wipe out the filth of the Underground. Sooner or later, their hectic lives would settle into a more comfortable routine.

As winter came, Levi returned to what was now their Headquarters in Shiganshina. Erwin had chosen the place for the sake of his soldiers rather than his own convenience, since most of the work to be done was still here and in the surrounding areas. Independent squads had been sent out to other districts of Wall Maria, under the command of the better equipped Garrison. 

Levi arrived on a late afternoon, the sky already dark and heavy with clouds that looked like they were considering snow. He knocked quietly on Erwin’s door, heart skipping in his chest in a most silly and unfamiliar manner. The sound of Erwin’s voice calling to come in, however, was drowned in the sound of running feet that rapidly drew nearer, and sure enough, Eren skidded around the corner of the hallway and nearly crashed into the wall.

“Levi!” he yelled. “I heard you’re back, are you going to stay? Are you here for good? Fuck, I missed you so much.” He pulled Levi into his arms, unfazed by the fact that any second other soldiers might round the corner and see them, and buried his nose in soft black hair. Behind them, the door clicked open as Erwin came to see what the ruckus was about, and they were dragged into his office by the scruff of their necks and buried in a bear hug.

Really, Levi hadn’t known just how much he missed them until he was back in their warmth and their familiar smell, and he closed his eyes and couldn’t help the content little hum that formed in the back of his throat.

“Welcome home, Levi. It’s good to have you back”, Erwin said. “It’s almost time for dinner, do you want to wash up and change?”

“Thank the gods, I’m starving”, Levi admitted.

Eren beamed at him. “I’ll show you your quarters, Levi! They’re right next door! Erwin made sure to have the best room reserved for you.” He took Levi’s hand and showed him his room, which was indeed just down the corridor and - by military standard - rather spacious and nice. His luggage had already been brought in, and when Levi emerged from the shower Eren had lit the fireplace and unpacked his bags and neatly stowed away his clothes.

Dinner was a much fancier affair than usual, the usual stew and bread being replaced by a soup, potatoes, carrots, cabbage and - Levi could hardly believe his eyes - a small serving of meat, plus the inconceivable luxury of an apple cobbler.

“I was amazed when a new canteen manager showed up out of nowhere”, Erwin said with an amused smile as Levi moaned around a mouthful of warm apples and sweet crumbles. “But ever since Hogan took over, we’re eating like noblemen, so you won’t find me complaining.”

“Well I knew he was amazing, but how the fuck did he get hold of whipped cream for this cobbler?”

“It’s no whipped cream”, a voice behind him said. “It’s skimmed milk and semolina.”

Levi turned around to meet the smile of the manager who looked rather pleased with himself. “You don’t run an inn in the underground without learning to make anything with nothing”, he remarked. “The crumbles for this cobbler are mostly potatoes. With the right preparation even the most meager ingredients can make a tasty meal. Just throwing everything into a pot and calling it stew”, he shook his head sadly”, that’s just fucking lazy.”

“What about the meat? You’re not telling me it’s potatoes too, are you?”

“Look, you engaged me for my skills, now don’t go and question them”, Hogan grinned. “It’s real meat, from no questionable source, that’s all you have to know.” Then he hollered in the general direction of the kitchen: “Cena! Come say hello to the Captain!”

His wife waltzed in, as usual all makeup and bodice, and threw her massive arms around Levi before he could escape, and he all but suffocated in her ample bosom while she overflowed with gratitude.

**********

This winter was a peaceful time. It snowed a lot, preventing travel, and the Scouts would mostly repair and stock up their equipment, exercise and keep the Headquarter and stables in spotless order. It was boring, but nonetheless welcome, the change of pace giving them a chance to rest and mentally catch up with the events of the last months. Erwin, Levi and Eren relished the time they had together, growing closer than ever. Erwin and Levi were mostly done healing - Erwin’s arm had grown back up to the palm of his hand, and Levi’s leg ended shortly above the ankle. Despite his difficulties, he’d started training with his vertical maneuvering gear again, thrilled by the rush of air and the velocity that carried him forward after all these weeks. Afterwards, Eren would massage his sore and cramping muscles, and Levi didn’t know how he’d ever managed without the touch of a human’s hand. Their life was quiet and almost domestic, punctuated by nights of fiery passion, and all they could regret was the secrecy they were forced to keep (although Levi suspected that it was a rather well-known secret in the Corps that Eren spent most of his days in Erwin’s or his quarters).

Erwin poured over maps and plans, already deep in planning new expeditions. The titans may be gone for all they knew, but mankind was still trapped behind the walls. Eren often asked to look at the maps, and as winter proceeded he grew sullen and restless. It was hard to notice at first, and he always tried to maintain his smile around his lovers. But he tended to withdraw into himself or talk to Armin at length, and he became more gloomy by the week.

One night, when Eren claimed fatigue and didn’t share their bed, Levi said: “We have to let him go.” He was sprawled over Erwin’s chest, gentle fingers combing through his hair.

Erwin didn’t reply, so Levi continued. “The kid has… dreams, plans. A future. A future that doesn’t lie within the walls. He needs to see that ocean thing that he has been talking about with Armin and Mikasa, and figure out what he wants with his life. He deserves it. And we’re holding him back.”

Erwin wanted to argue, but deep inside he knew Levi was right. There was a future for humanity, a future for Eren and his friends, but this future was not meant for Levi and himself. What they could hope for was bringing this chapter to an end, and maybe have a peaceful end. They had outlived any expectations and entitlements.

***************

They told Eren the next day, and of course there were tears, and there was denial. There were even hysterical accusations of them wanting to get rid of him, something Eren regretted saying the instant the hurtful words left his tongue, but they didn’t even flinch, sensing how torn and helpless he felt.

After a couple of days, when he reckoned Eren had been stewing long enough, Erwin took him, Armin and Mikasa to the top of the wall. There, he swept his arm in a wide arch at the lands beyond. “This, all of this, is your heritage. I want you to go out there and claim it. You earned it. You deserve it. Us old soldiers, we only paved the way for you. This new land, it needs new rulers, or everything will be the same as within the walls.”

He paused for a moment, catching their gaze and making sure he had their attention. “Go there and find the ocean. Find your lands of fire and ice and sand, and then come back and tell us all about it.”

Mikasa’s face, like usual, gave away nothing, she seemed to wait for Eren’s and Armin’s reactions. Armin had lit up as if someone had given him a life supply of birthday presents, which in a way Erwin just had. And Eren… he looked at the open land with such a deep longing and bit his lips.

Erwin put his hand on Eren’s shoulder. “Eren. Everything you want to return to, it will be waiting for you. I promise.” The boy looked up at him with moist eyes, but then he nodded, and his smile broke forth slowly like the sun emerging from a bank of clouds. He turned to Armin and Mikasa.

“Shit, let’s do this.”

Erwin watched with a smile as the three scouts tangled in a group hug, and a painful mixture of pride, envy and loss tugged at his heart.

**********

Setting the three explorers up for their “long term expedition”, as Erwin dubbed it so expenses and their wages would be covered, took the rest of the winter. They were to set out as soon as spring arrived and there would be no risk of them getting surprised by any late snow storms. Aside from the usual training with vertical maneuvering gear and combat, they had to practice how to survive in the wilderness on their own resources. Setting up camp and making fires had to go smoothly, they had to hone their hunting skills, learn about edible and non-edible plants, be able to tend to wounds and sickness, and a million other things to ensure their safety. Levi didn’t go easy on them, all being for their own good, but Eren still sometimes snapped irritably at him, which always ended in Levi dragging him around the next corner and kissing him hard until he stopped bristling. Erwin introduced Armin into cartography and tought him how to measure distances and draw maps. He would be in charge of documenting their travels in a journal.

Towards his lovers, Eren was heartbreakingly clingy and needy, soaking up their affection to store it away for the months to come, and they were happy to oblige. Every opportunity he got, he stole kisses and hugs, and at night he was shamelessly wanton, coaxing them all to new hights. His hands on them felt like he wanted to imprint the memory of every inch of skin into his brain, and he kissed them just the same way, full of attention and concentration.

And then finally the scheduled day of departure came, the pale spring sun rising into a cloudless day. It was a beautifully mild spring morning that promised a stretch of fine weather. Most of the Scouts had assembled in front of the gate to see the adventurers off, and not trusting his voice nor his hands, Eren just smiled and nodded at the farewell wishes and busied himself with the saddle-bags of his gelding. Tethered to the saddle was a pack-horse, small and sturdy, and Armin and Mikasa each led one too. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jean approaching Mikasa and, after a short conversation, handing her a small leather pouch. She tucked it into one of her saddle bags and then hugged him with a smile and patted his cheek. Jean looked terribly flustered, and Eren mused what the pouch was about and if Mikasa would tell him.

There was no farewell hug for his lovers - they had said everything there was to say in the privacy of Erwin’s room earlier on, but he was sorely tempted to throw his arms around them, already feeling the loss like a physical wound. Eren swallowed around the lump in his throat and mounted his horse, prompting Mikasa and Armin to do the same. The gates rumbled open, and without further ado they set off. In passing the crowd, there were only two faces Eren searched for, and there they were, Levi with the usual impassive look in his grey eyes and a curt nod, Erwin with an encouraging smile, and then he was through the gate and they were gone.

During the first hours they didn’t speak much, each occupied with their own thoughts. It felt odd to let the horses trot at a leisurly pace, since on expeditions they had always had to rely on speed, and the familiar landmarks came into view a lot slower. Also, being in a group of only three nade Eren feel vulnerable, and he noticed that Armin and Mikasa stayed rather close and constantly looked around, so he reckoned the were as high on alert as himself. It was habit and hard to shake, since the outside of the walls had always been titan territory. There seemed to be no titans left close by, but who knew what they would encounter? The weight of his gear and the swords on his hips and back felt comforting. 

The grass was beginning to grow, and here and there primrose, violets and pasqueflowers huddled in the shelter of hedges, shivering in the wind. Blackthorn, cornel cherry and other early bloomers were coated in white, yellow and tender green, but other than that bushes and trees were still mostly barren.

Around lunchtime, they made a short rest and stretched their backs while the horses wandered off to graze. Their own lunch was frugal - they would light a fire and eat properly in the evening. Resting his back against a tree and nibbling on a stale apple, Eren asked Mikasa: “What did Jean give you earlier on?”

Mikasa continued chewing on her own apple for a while before she answered. “Ashes”, she said softly.

“Oh. Do you think…”

“Yes. He asked me to scatter them in the wind when we come to the ocean. He said… he said Marco would have liked it.”

They were silent for a while, thinking of Marco, Mina, Thomas, Franz and all the others. All of them gone so the three of them could sit here in the shade of a tree.

He took her hand into his, her once so tender and slim hand that was now hardened and calloused from years of hard work and wielding a sword. “I know we always said it was our dream. But it isn’t. It’s their dream as well, and we have to make it worthwhile.”

“Well, if you want to make it in this lifetime, you two better get up and going so we can cover some distance”, Armin smirked and got up. “Come on, I want to be out of eyeshot of the darn walls tonight.”

The landscape was open here, which made travelling easy, but it made them uneasy not to be around trees or anything they could use their vertical maneuvering gear on. They prompted their horses to go a little faster. 

In the evening, they made camp in the ruins of a half-collapsed cottage. Eren quickly kindled a fire, using the glowing moss he carried in a small tin can, while Mikasa went out in hopes of hunting down some rabbits and Armin scribbled in his journal.

“Do you really have to make it this elaborate? It’s only the first day and we’re not exactly in unknown territory here”, Eren teased as Armin chewed on his pen thoughtfully.

His friend immediately bristled. “Oh yeah, you would probably write something like ‘Rode five hours. Fell into river. No idea where we are but the birds sure look weird.’ ”

Eren laughed. “You’re right, I would be awful at this. So it’s a good thing it’s your job.”

Mikasa came back with two rabbits she had killed with a slingshot. Animals outside the walls weren’t very wary of humans, which would make hunting a lot easier. Soon the aroma of roasting meat filled the small hut and made their mouths water. After some consideration, they decided to cover the fire up overnight. If there were any titans around, they would be inactive at night, but the light might attract them. 

Eren took the first watch while Armin and Mikasa crawled into their blankets. He wrapped his own blanket around his shoulders and warmed his hands on a cup of tea. As he watched the moon wander across the sky and listened to the occasional movements of the horses and the rustling of small animals in the undergrowth, he was slowly filled with the awareness that for the first time in his life he was free. Free to go wherever he pleased, and no man or titan would stop him from that. He was grateful that Erwin and Levi had granted him this, had let him go to spread his wings. They trusted that he was capable of this, that he could take care of himself. There had never been a doubt in their words or their behaviour that he would come back safely. Maybe their confidence was attributed a little to the fact that he was accompanied by Mikasa, second in strength and deadliness only to Levi, and by Armin, who was about the smartest person he had ever met. He thought of them, if they were curled up in bed right now, but instead of the sadness he had expected there was a pleasant anticipation. All the things he could tell them when he came back. All the things he could teach them.

When his eyes started to droop, he roused Mikasa and instantly fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

**********

Eren awoke as Armin carefully rekindled the fire from the glowing embers and put on a pot water for tea. Somehow tea always tasted best when it was prepared by Armin - Mikasa´s tended to taste like burnt hair and Eren let it seep either too short or too long. They warmed their chilled limbs at the fire and breakfasted on rusk and dried fruit. Before the sun had risen far on the horizon they were already on their way.

The first days of their journey were soothingly eventless. Their tense nerves relaxed a little, although their hands still reached for their swords at unfamiliar sounds. Even without titans there were still wolves and bears in the woods to worry about, but so far the largest thing they had seen were a couple of deer. They rode in companionable silence or chatted lightly, and the more the distance to the walls grew the more the ghosts of pain and suffering faded. On the fifth day, they reached the river they had been headed to, marking the end of the territory that had been explored by the Survey Corps so far. For a few minutes, they sat in silence. The landscape was still mostly flat here, so the river was broad and shallow, flowing idly in its rock and pebble covered bed.

That day they didn´t travel any further, but spent the afternoon watching the lazy current. Armin lay on his stomach on a boulder and watched the water moving sand and small pebbles. He looked over the riverbed and regarded the larger stones and rocks.

“Hey, do you guys reckon the river washed all the stones down here? From the mountains maybe?”

Mikasa shielded her eyes from the sun and squinted at him “I admit I have never given it much thought. I mean, rocks are where they are. It never crossed my mind that they might have been elsewhere before.”

Armin chewed his lip thoughtfully. “Yeah, but when you watch, the water moves the sand, and it moves the pebbles, only slower. What if it can move larger stones, but only a lot slower? And the rocks super slow? Like, only with the snow melting and when there´s a lot of water? Maybe only an inch a year. Maybe only an inch in ten years. So how long did it take this boulder here”, he rapped his knuckles on the one he was lying on, “to get here all the way from the mountains?”

Eren lay in the grass with his eyes closed, listening to Armin. It was no news to him, his blond friend questioning the very things in existence that he never paid attention to because he saw them as a given. Armin constantly probed and prodded at the limits of their knowledge, asking ´How?´ and ´Why?´ until everybody admitted defeat. Armin might follow Eren´s lead, but it was people like Armin that would lead humankind on, never relenting, never satisfied until he knew. Books had been his childhood companions, books that were way beyond his years, and he had soaked them up like a sponge and digested them with a never ending stream of questions. And now he would attribute his own wisdom, with this journey, his journals, the maps he would draw.

Suddenly, one of the makeshift fishing rods they had propped up bowed and dipped, announcing success and demanding attention. It was a medium sized common roach, not one of their favorites because of the fine fish bones, but since it was edible they wouldn´t complain. Soon, they had caught some more, making enough for a decent meal. It was still early in the year, but they found enough ground elder, sorrel and arrowhead and dug out some nutritious cattail roots to accompany the fish. Since they didn´t know how long they would have to make do, they wanted to make their food supplies last and only add them as extra on their daily menu. With his belly full Eren was glad he could roll into his blankets and leave the first watch to Mikasa.

In the morning the dawdled around their camp unusually long. No one voiced it but they were hesitant to set off - they would advance into lands that no man´s foot had touched in over a hundred years, and a slight fear of the unknown gripped them. It was Armin who finally stomped his foot, grabbed his saddle and walked over to his horse, and the others heard him mumble: “I am so not going to chicken out of this” and grinned.

Neither the scenery nor the weather changed much during the next days as they followed the river southeast, but when they first spotted some mountains in the distance the skies decided to cast the long overdue spring rain on them. Armin reckoned that so far they had done 120 miles since they reached the river, but now the ground was getting soggy and slowed their progress considerably. It was difficult to find a halfway sheltered place for their night rest, and one evening Eren couldn´t light a fire no matter what he tried. In the morning they were all sodden and shivering, with no fire or tea to warm them up, and even the horses became moody as rain continued to pound on them nonstop.

After five days of rotten weather and more and more irritable interactions their spirits lifted when they saw first specks of blue in the monotone grey sky, and in the same afternoon they came across the remains of a road. It was overgrown and full of potholes, but still it made travelling a lot easier. It came from somewhere to their right and continued along the river. The mountains had drawn considerably closer, and slowly the grassy plains gave way to mixed and conifer forests, and the pattern of the ground suggested this had once been farmland. There were more house ruins here, too, bearing witness to a once flourishing civilization. They spent two nights in what had once been a stable farmhouse to dry and air out their blankets, tents and clothing, and a small clean creek offered opportunity for a long overdue - albeit very cold - bath and thorough scrubbing.

Mikasa managed to hunt a young boar with bow and arrow, but had underestimated the aggressiveness of the mother sow and had to make a run for it. She barely managed to climb a tree and had to wait for over an hour until the coast was clear again. By the time she reached the spot of the killing the carcass had already been dragged away by a fox or lynx, and she felt the pulse throb in her temples and an angry twitch in her eye. She fruitlessly kicked at the leaves on the ground and stomped back to the house, where she was greeted with a cheery “What´s for dinner tonight, o great huntress?” from Eren. 

“I don´t know, maybe you go and get something, o chosen one”, she snapped and threw the bow at his feet before she stormed off to mooch at the riverbank and throw stones into the water with a satisfying “splunk”. 

She didn´t know what had gotten into her to act so irrationally. It wasn´t Eren´s fault that she had no good luck in hunting today. Ever since she had joined the Yeager household she had seen it as her responsibility to watch over Eren, then over Armin, even more so since they had been on their own. With no adults to protect them, Mikasa had taken the role of the older sister, no matter how much it tired her and how much it annoyed Eren. He loved her, she knew that, but he still fought her every step of the way, hating when he was reminded of his own limits and weaknesses. 

Eren did rely on her, subconsciously at least, and she realized it tired her. She cared for him, would always do so, but she no longer wanted to be responsible for him. She sat straight up as this thought hit her like a brick.

It was time to let Eren, and Armin, go and find out what she wanted for herself. She had always assumed that being there for them was enough, but obviously it wasn´t. Of course she had known Eren had fallen in love with Levi, then with Erwin, he couldn´t hide anything from her if he tried. Maybe he was scared she´d disapprove of him loving men, or more specifially loving two men at once and his superiors no less. But Mikasa wasn´t bothered by that. Love was love, as far as she was concerned. She was more concerned that he would be used or hurt, but what she witnessed was that his lovers treated Eren like gold. Moreover, they were good for him, and recently he´d been the happiest and more emotionally stable than she had ever seen him.

Behind her back, she heard a rustle and a quiet cough, and she turned around to see Eren holding out a dead magpie like a peace offering. His eyes were worried and pleading, and that was a first. On the rare occasions she´d been harsh to him he had gotten mad, but obviously seeing her so angered was unsettling for him.

She raised an eyebrow, and Eren shuffled uncertainly. “Uh… it´s not much, I know, but I´m not as skilled as you, but… if you want, I can help you hunt, and I´ll get better.”

Mikasa couldn´t help the laughter bubbling up, and she reached out for his hand and pulled him to sit on the bank next to her. “Oh gods, Eren, you idiot brother, come here.” She wrapped her arms around him and shook with uncontrollable laughter.

“I´m sorry for yelling at you”, she apologized at last, wiping tears from her eyes. “I had bad luck and took it out on you.”

To her surprise, he replied: “Don´t be sorry. Finally I see that you´re just a human being after all. I always wondered just how much it would take to irk you. All my life, you´ve been ´Eren, no´ and ´Eren, please´ and at last I get a ´Fuck you, Eren.´”

“What, so you actually want shouting matches with me?” She said, ruffling his hair.

“Heck, yes. That´s what siblings and friends do, isn´t it?” His eyes shone with mirth.

“I´ll tell you ´Fuck you` as many times as you want, then.”

**************

By the time they had passed through the deep valley that the river had carved through the mountains, full spring was on them. Trees and bushes exploded into green, and all of a sudden the migratory birds were back. Barn swallows and swifts flitted around them in search of insects, and in the mornings they were greeted by a chorus of birdsong. White and pink speckled apple and cherry trees. Behind the mountains and as spring proceeded the climate became milder. The land sloped down in gentle hills, and the river became livelier, cascading down rapids, and often the road would wind away from the water to round a hill or avoid steep banks cutting into the rocky underground. The grass looked a little different here, coarser and dryer, and lush meadows like they were used to became rarer. There were more oaks and peach trees here, and every night Armin would scribble and draw furiously in his journal.

When they had travelled over a month and Armin announced they had covered nearly a thousand miles, they found themselves trapped between two rivers. The one they had followed was to their right, and now another, bigger one approached from north and to their left. Still, they were confident the road would be no dead end, and indeed they came upon a bridge. The banks were steep here, the water deep and fast-flowing, and there was no way they could wade or swim through the river.

On the other side, there were the ruins of a town, the first one they came across since they had left Wall Maria. All they had seen so far were single houses or small dwellings, but the sight of the overgrown town let their hair stand on end. It looked big enough to house maybe a thousand people, and the architecture was alien to them. Here, space hadn´t been much of a problem, so houses were not neatly lined up in rows, but in a pattern that to them looked random but did indeed follow the contours of the landscape. 

The bridge was made of stone and in reasonably well condition, and they crossed it with no problem. Then they entered the town, and the hooves of their horses echoed loudly through the narrow streets. As far as they could tell, this town had not been under attack, and the damage to the houses was done by time itself, and nature slowly and patiently taking back the man-made constructions. The cracks in the pavement were filled with grass, weeds and wild flowers, and birches and other trees rooted in fundaments and rain spouts, breaking stones and mortar apart. Ivy and vine had embraced walls and crept up buildings. Roofs had collapsed under decades of snow, rain and wind, allowing the elements into the houses. 

Here and there, they could glimpse into open doorways and yawning window holes, and they saw most furniture was still there and many things were in disarray. It seemed like the inhabitants had left the town in a haste, taking only what they could carry. In some kitchens, there were still pots on the fireplace and dishes on the table. The place had a sinister, eerie atmosphere, and they were glad to follow the road to the other side. They might have stayed for the night and have a comfortable shelter, but without discussion they all wanted to leave this spooky place behind. A few miles down the road, they found an overhanging cliff, and this evening they didn´t feel like going hunting or fishing but preferred staying close together and eating from their supplies instead. The proof that there had once been towns outside the walls, not only small settlements with a handful of people, that mankind had a history that was long since lost and forgotten, jarred them more than they had expected.

Over the next days, houses got sparser again. The road was now often lined with large bushes that had yellow blossoms and gave off a sweet smell. In the shadow, columbine and knotweed lured in bees, while sunny places were covered in alyssum and lupines. The sun warmed their backs, and at noon they had to rest in the shade. It was much hotter than what they were used to at this time of the year, and Armin’s nose was peeling badly. Even Eren, who tanned lightly, had a slight sunburn.

They followed the river down into a wide plain covered in bushes, shrubs and low trees, and their mouths fell open at the amount of settlements.

They were everywhere.

Small groups of houses, villages, small towns were scattered all around. This must have been fertile, prosperous land, feeding so many people. Most houses looked small and humble, single-story buildings of field stones or painted in light colours, with red or brown roof tiles. The plains faded in the distance in what may or may not have been blue. 

Here, on mostly flat land, they made great time, although Armin had to stop here and there to examine plants he hadn’t seen yet. There were trees with arrow-shaped, silvery leaves, oaks and acorns that looked different than the ones at home. Birds sang everywhere, and small lizards flitted away at their approaching. Many plants had coarse, felt-like leaves to prevent drying out too quickly. On the general, plants and animals seemed to be smaller here.

Spring gave way to early summer, and the grass was beginning to turn yellow. Thunderstorms swept over the land, drenching everything in a matter of minutes, but they were gone just as fast. The travelers were grateful for the proximity of the river, although when they had to drink its water they boiled it and endured the stale taste. But every now and again fresh clear creeks would cross their paths, providing a welcome refreshment.

The country was crisscrossed by roads and paths now, most half sunken and overgrown but still recognizable. Some of the settlements they passed were destroyed, others had tried to barricade themselves. And many were just deserted. By now they had gotten used to it and slept in buildings and courtyards whenever they could.

One morning, after a night of heavy rain, Eren woke up to see Armin squinting at the horizon. “It’s there”, he simply stated when he became aware that Eren was awake.

They pressed the horses for a little more pace then, torn between eagerness and not wanting to exhaust the animals. And just a couple of days later they were there. The river made a wide arch back north before it opened out into the sea in a wide, marshy delta, but they cut short and headed directly to the east. A large town sat there, with a harbor that was now half destroyed by elements.

Even several miles off, they could already smell it, a fresh, salty odor that couldn’t be compared to anything they knew. Around every corner they could see the deep blue, the sun sparkling invitingly on the water. Far out, there were other shades of grey and green.

Next, they heard it, a low, rhythmic thundering sound that sounded strangely soothing. And then they were finally there, right at the water’s edge, and below them the waves crashed against the remains of the harbor walls. Seagulls and other birds they didn’t know sailed above them, and the spray of the water was refreshing.

They dismounted and tethered their horses and just stood there, trying to grasp the moment. The sight was dazzling, awe-inspiring, nothing but water as far as the eye could see, just as Armin had promised.

The blond boy had sunk to his knees. “It’s so beautiful”, he whispered. “So beautiful… I wish my grandfather… that he…” he broke off in a sob. Mikasa and Eren were with him in an instant, soothingly rubbing his back, stroking his hair.

“He’s here with you”, Mikasa said. “All of them are. We are here for them, in their name.” They held him until he had cried it all away, and then they just sat with their backs to a sun-warmed wall and rejoiced in being there, being alive.

In the evening, they gathered wild flowers, and after that they went to the beach a short way off and waded into the water. Mikasa opened the leather pouch she had been given by Jean and carefully, reverentially scattered the contents in the waves. The ashes hung as a small cloud above the water before sinking down and were carried away with the flowers.

It was Marco’s ashes, or what Jean had assumed they were, but to Eren, Mikasa and Armin, it was all their friends and family that had passed away, and standing there in the water with the sunset in their backs and the dark waters before them felt like an end and a beginning.

They stayed for a week, content with their discovery. They wandered through the surrounding hills, bathed in the water or lazed on the beach. Armin was busy with his notes again and corrected his maps and drawings, adding some sketches of Eren and Mikasa on a whim. His hair had grown so long that it started bothering him, and he started tying it up in a ponytail. A blond beard, slightly darker than his sun-bleached hair, covered his chin and jaw line. Eren too was growing a beard, and his shaggy brown hair came down to his shoulders, more messy than ever and with golden tips. Under the souther sun, he had tanned darkly. Even Mikasa’s porcelain skin was showing some freckles. 

But most of all, there was a peace and calm on their faces that made them beautiful, all three of them. They had bid farewell and were ready to face the future, whatever it may hold for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [sihaiya](http://sihaiya.tumblr.com) for helping me with travel distances and times and to lovely [sammy-dean-pie](http://sammy-dean-pie.tumblr.com) for betaing this mammoth with infinite patience.
> 
> Some notes on the innkepper I took from ACWNR. I found it awkward that he and his wife had no names to address them with, so I couldn´t resist the tempation to name him Hogan. For Cena, his wife´s name, [honjizoo](http://honjizoo.tumblr.com) is entirely to blame.
> 
> About geography. I placed the walls in Europe and guess what... the area is HUGE. It would have taken our protagonists about 10 days to the Croatian and maybe 15 days to the Bulgarian coast. So I cheated, yes, sue me. I took the general course of the river Danube through Croatia and Serbia, and through the Iron Gates into Bulgaria and the Black Sea. BUT I stretched it a lot to make the journey last roughly three months. Artistic liberty yay.
> 
> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


	6. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion of Eren with his lovers has to be celebrated, so... shameless smut ensues. Nile has less friendly plans with the trio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Sorry for the delay, but life is eating me right now.

From the background of the crowd, Levi and Erwin watched Eren´s departure silently, the backs of their hands brushing lightly against each other in the shadows of their cloaks. By and by, the scouts dispersed, chatting excitedly. The journey of their three comrades gave them hopes for adventures of their own, and Erwin could foresee that every book that had chanced to escape the purges of the Reiss regime would be eagerly studied soon. For the time being they had to maintain their duties and responsibilities, and Levi and Jean made sure to keep the scouts occupied.

A couple of days later, Levi´s healing process had reached his foot, and he had to discard the prosthetic that Moblit had made for him, and stay in his quarters until it had healed so far that he could hobble around again. Hanji scented their chance, now that their prey was immobile and unable to escape, cornered him and ran dozens of tests on him. They loudly bemoaned the fact that they couldn´t let him titanise and already pondered about ways to make it happen in a secluded place beyond the walls. Finally, Levi threw his walking stick at them and told them some indecent acts they could perform on themselves. 

Although he was still missing some of his toes, he slipped into his gear and boots and went back to training. Without the stiff, artificial ankle it was much easier to use the vertical maneuvering gear again. He had gone to a small grove of trees just inside Wall Maria to practice in privacy, so he wasn´t at all delighted to hear a familiar voice call out to him.

“Not bad for a one-legged man, Levi.”

Levi snarled, landed on the ground and walked over to Nile Dok, careful to move his right leg stiffly and exaggerate his limp.

“Yeah, Moblit made a great job with the prosthetic he gave me. Plus I had plenty of time to exercise. What are you doing here, shouldn´t you be crawling up some people´s butts in the Capital?”

Nile squinted down his nose at Levi, who looked him dead in the eye. “I have business with your commander, and since he´s decided to hole himself up out here, much to everybody´s inconvenience, I have to come out all the way. Not that I care to stay in the hinterland longer than I have to.” He kicked his horse in the sides, and with a curt nod that looked as if someone had jerked on his head with a string, he set off down the road to Shiganshina.

Levi narrowed his eyes as he watched Nile disappear around the next bend. Why would the commander of the Military Police bother to come here in person? It was suspicious. He didn´t like this at all.

**********

“What’s so important that King Thrushbeard took the stick out of his ass long enough to ride all the way down here?” was Levi’s nonchalant approach once he got hold of Erwin alone. He was working on the commander’s tense shoulders and back, and the distress that had manifested in the hardened and cramped muscles under his fingers raised Levi’s dislike for Nile tenfold. Just sensing the worry that radiated off his lover made him want to grab a dagger and go for the man’s throat.

“Trying to throw shade”, was the clipped reply. 

“On you? How so?”

Erwin heaved a deep sigh. “Lately, I made decisions that are… questionable from his point of view. Keeping Hanji although they’re in the wheelchair and not fit for combat. Keeping you as squad leader although you’re supposedly a cripple. Sending the kids out on what is basically a paid vacation. Of course that is not what really bothers him. He wants to get rid of me and Eren because we’re shifters. But since we’re… heroes that is seemingly tolerated. For the time being. But it won’t take much to tip the scales to our disadvantage.”

Levi said nothing, just listened attentively while he worked on another tense knot of muscle tissue. He knew Erwin well enough to know that he didn’t wait for a reply.

“I saw it coming, but… somehow I didn’t want to. We used to be friends, so long ago… now he just hates and fears me. I need to come up with a plan.”

Levi kissed the nape of his neck. “You will. I trust that you will.”

Erwin turned his head. “Levi… haven’t you ever been worried I wouldn’t be able to come up with something?”

“Never since you outwitted me.” Levi’s fingers wandered from Erwin’s back to his chest, trailed the dips and curves of muscle. “Do you want me to take care of you tonight, Erwin?”

Erwin swallowed. “Would that be okay for you?” His voice was hoarse and already tinged with desire. So far, wether it had been two or three of them, it was always Erwin who’d done the topping, less out of natural inclination but more out of the desire to please his partners and take care of them. The readiness with which he let himself be spread open and welcomed Levi, the ease with which he let go of control told Levi more than any words could.

**********

Without Eren, they needed to find a new balance. The boy had brought a lightness to them that they were now missing acutely. They had known each other for so long, yet Levi found it difficult to deal with all the tender affection that was now zooming in on him, while Erwin was sometimes helpless in the face of Levi’s more aggressive sexuality. Eren had been the mediator in their relationship, and now they had to reinvent themselves, tone down, tune in to their partner’s concerns and needs. Being good friends for a long stretch of time doesn’t automatically make you good lovers, although it helped that after every misunderstanding, every argument, every night spent separately they had a solid foundation of respect and trust to return to. 

Erwin had to spend a lot of time in the Capital again, and often took Hanji with him. It was now clear that they would never leave the wheelchair, never put on the vertical maneuvering gear again and wield a blade, but their skills and experience in tactics and logistics were indisputable. Grudgingly, it was agreed upon that it would be a shame to retire them and waste their talents. A desk job required a brain more than physical fitness, and brains Hanji had in aboundance.

Between his other duties, Levi kept tabs on “his” settlers from the underground, and as expected, most of them were doing fine. Many were not really cut out for rural farm lifes, but as handymen, manual workers or craftspeople they found their incomes, and if some of them used more… creative ways of boosting it he wouldn’t complain as long as they knew how to keep out of trouble. 

It was incredible how his popularity had increased. Despite his cold demeanor, he was often forcibly dragged into humble huts and apartments and treated to the best the house had to offer. The little ray of hope that had been cast on them was not in vain. They were so proud of what they owned now, and one thing Levi noted with a smile was how most of the settlements were overflowing with flowers, herbs and vegetables, window boxes and flower pots sprouting in every possible place.

Green had been a rarity in the Underground.

***********

Summer slowly dragged to an end, first small expeditions were made to get back into training, their objective finding out more about the still assumed warrior village. Deserted villages they found plenty, but none of them looked as if they had been inhabited until recently. Levi grew restless and counted the weeks since Eren, Mikasa and Armin had set off.

“We can not tell when they will come back”, Erwin reminded him. “We have no idea how far away that ocean is… and if they will continue from there on. There was so much that Armin spoke about. Deserts of sand and burning mountains and lands of ice, who knows what they will see? It might be years before they return.”

“No, they will come back when they’ve found the ocean”, Levi said firmly. “They wouldn’t go and cater to their own entertainment in the knowledge that we are still here, not knowing. They will want us to know. They will want us to see.”

Erwin had recently moved into a tiny house that nestled in a corner of the compound, granting him a little more privacy. It was only a few steps from the main building of the Headquarters and hardly more than a shed, consisting of a small room that served as study, living room and kitchen, and an even smaller bedroom and microscopic bath. But it had the invaluable luxury of quiet, curtains that could be drawn and a door that could be locked. Erwin and Levi spent many evenings here, often accompanied by Hanji and Moblit, less often by Jean who was promoted squad leader but still felt a little shy and alien in the circle of veterans who had been friends for years.

None of the others mentioned that Levi would nearly always lag behind when they made their excuses and returned to their own rooms.

Levi wasn’t superstitious. He didn’t believe in omens or signs or foreboding. Which is why he couldn’t explain the weird feeling that struck him on a flawless autumn day. The air was clear, the sky a deep and immaculate blue. The woods had put on their finest foliage of gold, red and orange. Spider silk drifted in the soft breeze. Gossamer, as Levi recalled the old word was. But despite the lack of ominous signs there was a change in the atmosphere, a sense of anticipation. He chided himself for it, but he couldn’t shake the feeling nonetheless.

In the late afternoon, he was just about to knock on Erwin’s door with some documents when he heard the clatter of hooves approaching. Horses were always around, their noises so common you hardly ever paid attention, but still his hand froze in the air. Levi turned his head to watch the gateway, and soon enough six horses rounded the corner, three pack horses and three with riders, and without bothering to knock he yanked the door open and shouted: “They’re here, they’re back”, and it took everything he had to stay in place and not bound across the courtyard.

Erwin joined him at the doorway the second Eren leaped off his horse and pulled them both in a tight embrace, all pretense and discretion forgotten in the overwhelming joy to see them. They hugged him back, but Levi stopped Eren’s attempt to kiss with a scowl and a “Fuck, kid, you reek like a cage of polecats”, but then he flashed a brief smile that didn’t go unnoticed. Eren smiled back, and seeing the smile he had missed for so many months made Levi consider shortly to snog him anyway, witnesses and stink be damned.

But he as well as Erwin managed to untangle themselves and greet Armin and Mikasa properly. Other scouts showed up, and Erwin quickly gave orders to attend to the horses and bring the baggage to the sleeping quarters. Then he ushered the three inside and started preparing a pot of tea. They sat down around the table, opened their mouths and started babbling. Levi provided them with bread, cheese and fruit, but there was no decrease in their talking even as they stuffed their faces, and the food was annihilated even before the tea was ready. When Erwin sat down he poured over Armin’s journal that was held meticulously, page after page of notes and drawings.

Levi sipped his tea and only listened with one ear while he was more busy contemplating the scouts. They had changed so much in this time. Mikasa spoke so lively and freely, her even face more expressive than he’d ever seen it, and when she smiled she was radiant. It seemed not only that she was excited about her adventure, but more like a weight had been lifted of her shoulders, and he wondered at what decision she had made about her life.

Armin was as animated as ever, but he was full of confidence and authority that he had lacked earlier. Armin’s weakness had been his always second-guessing himself, but listening to him now was a lot like listening to a younger Erwin. The long, pulled back hair and the beard gave him an air of maturity, and the blond, insecure boy was only a dim memory.

Eren… he was still full of the fire and energy that Levi had fallen in love with, but it was different, warmer, kinder. The pain and anger that had been continuously raging just under the surface was gone, and the boy seemed at peace with himself. His hair was long and unkempt, since he hadn’t bothered tying it back like Armin and Mikasa had done. That and the untidy beard he’d grown should have given him the look of a homeless thug, and Levi should have itched at the thought of all the dirt hidden in that mass of hair, but actually it bothered him in completely different ways.

Levi nearly spilled his tea when a hand found his thigh under the table. He glared at Eren but only got a smug smile in return while the hand slid closer to his crotch. On the opposite side of the table, Erwin gave a startled little yelp and Levi could very well imagine that at least one of Eren’s feet was busy as well. 

Armin coughed and mentioned something about fatigue and needing a bath. “Mikasa, I think you need a bat and a bed too, don’t you?”

“What me? No, I’m not tired at all. I…” Mikasa broke off and winced as a sound that sounded suspiciously like a boot connecting with a shin was audible. She looked around the table, took in the looks on their faces and her eyes widened before she shot to her feet. “Erm, in fact you’re totally right, Armin. I really need to wash this grime off and get into some clean clothes.” In their haste to make it outside Armin and Mikasa bumped into each other in the doorway, then there was the slamming of the door and the sound of running feet.

Inside, silence hung heavy in the air. Eren made to crawl onto Levi’s lap but was stopped by a firm hand on his chest. “Stop it right there, Eren. I’m fucking happy you’re back but I swear to the gods, if you come any closer with these grimy clothes I’m gonna puke. Go grab a bath and scrub down and throw your stuff out so I can soak it. But”, he grabbed a handful of Eren’s hair, “don’t shave yet. Right, Erwin?”

Erwin grunted an affirmative, which was all he could currently manage with Eren’s foot pressing down on his cock. Eren’s grin as he made his way to the bathroom, already shedding his leather gear, was downright filthy. He had them both in the palm of his hand and he knew it.

Levi picked up the pile of dirty clothes and groused through the bathroom door: “Be sure to brush your teeth and soap all that pelt properly”, then he stalked off to get it washed and collect a fresh change of clothes for Eren - not that he would need them in the next hours, in all propability. Then there was nothing left to do but clear up the dishes and wait for the splashing and off-key singing in the bathroom to come to an end.

Once it did end, Eren soon emerged the bathroom with a towel around his waist and damp hair. He had taken Levi’s order to the word and his skin glowed pink from scrubbing. The lewd bravado from earlier was replaced by a terrible fondness in his face. He approached them slowly, then leaned his forehead against Erwin’s chest with closed eyes and a deep sigh and took Levi’s hand in his.

“I’m so happy to be back home, and I missed you, and... I’m so grateful you insisted we make this trip. I needed it - we all needed it, much more than we even admitted it to ourselves. But I feel a little bad because I didn’t miss you as much as I thought I would. Is that bad?” He looked at them both with worried puppy eyes.

“Not at all”, Erwin assured him. “You were too busy with other things, and had a lot to catch up with. And you did. We can see that. You have changed. Mikasa and Armin too.”

“Besides”, Levi quipped, “who says that we missed you? Hell, it was so heavenly quiet here these last months…” His attempt at averting the too emotional exchange was pathetically see-through, but his lovers let it go with a smile.

Eren bent down to kiss him, and damn had the boy gotten good at this. He slid his tongue into Levi´s welcoming mouth with ease, softly licking and nipping, all the while ghosting fingers over Levi´s jawline, neck and the buzz of his undercut, and Levi felt ridiculously sensitive to the touch. When Eren pulled back, he regarded Levi´s blown pupils and flushed face and commented with a smirk: “Didn´t miss me, huh?”

Levi wanted to smack him, but he felt sufficiently avenged when Erwin dipped down to kiss the boy passionately and easily reduced him to a blushing mess. Watching Erwin and Eren kiss was his second favorite thing only to watching Erwin and Eren fuck. He moved around to Eren´s back, brushed the long, soft hair aside and peppered the nape of his neck with kisses, slowly moving down his spine. It had been so long since he last held Eren that he felt the need to map out every inch of skin with his hands and mouth. Eren shivered beautifully between them, arching his back and pressing his ass enticingly against Levi´s groin, his little gasps and moans spilling into Erwin´s mouth.

“Can I… can I be in the middle today?” The request was so hushed it was almost inaudible, but Erwin and Levi snapped to attention as if a whip had cracked. They exchanged a dark, heated glance over Eren´s shoulder, then Erwin swept him up in his arms and carried the giggling scout bridal style to the bed. There, Eren had a first class view of his lovers making a show of tearing each other´s clothes off for him. It was the first time he saw them in their whole and unscarred beauty - when he had left in spring, they hadn´t done healing yet.

Now, as they sat on the bed on both sides of him, he ran his fingers admiringly over Levi´s thigh and knee down to his calf, then took Erwin´s hand in his own and turned it this way and that to regard it.

Levi chuckled. “Beautiful, isn´t it? Beautiful and strong. The things Erwin can do with his hands… they´re amazing.” He grazed his teeth along Eren´s collarbone. “Do you want those fingers inside you? Do you want them to fuck you open?” His mouth moved down to one of Eren´s dusky nipples while his fingers teased the other. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Erwin remove the towel, revealing Eren’s already half-hard cock, and run his hands admiringly over firm hips and thighs. It was the first time Erwin could touch him with both hands, and he seemed to savor every moment. If the pleased little noises Eren made were anything to go by, he enjoyed it just as much.

Levi slowly lay down on his back, holding Eren’s gaze. “Okay, Eren. Come up here. And hold on to the headboard.” Eren looked slightly puzzled until it dawned on him what Levi wanted. He turned to Erwin, who nodded encouragingly, and then crawled up Levi’s body until his knees pressed into the mattress next to Levi’s shoulders. His cheeks had darkened from a slight pink to burning red in the process, so Levi took a moment to caress his sides and stomach soothingly. “You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just… it’s been a while.”

Erwin leaned forward and nuzzled Eren’s shoulder. “It’s okay. We’ve got you. We’ll take it as slow as you want, or we don’t have to do anything at all and just cuddle.”

Eren shook his head. “I want you so bad, both of you. Can you… please. I need to feel you.”

Levi’s hands followed his happy trail, and his tongue darted out to lick the bead of precum from Eren’s cock. “Like this?” Eren gasped. “Fuck, yes…”

Levi chuckled darkly and proceeded sucking bruises into the tender skin of Eren’s inner thighs while Erwin mouthed his way down the boy’s back. From down here, Levi had a magnificent view over Eren´s taught belly and heaving chest to his face, soft lips parted and panting already. His eyes were scrunched shut, and Levi reached up and tugged at a long strand of hair to get his attention. Look at me. He waited for those brilliant irises to focus on him and then slowly, torturously, closed his lips around Eren´s cock and slid them down the whole length until his nose hit the soft dark hair at the base. He heard obscenely wet noises and didn´t need a manual to figure out what Erwin was occupied with; and from the way Eren bucked and whined between them he could tell he was frantically fighting the urge to come already. Levi couldn´t blame him - the things Erwin was capable of with his tongue were simply divine, and the combined feeling of having one man´s mouth around your dick and another man´s tongue in your ass could drive the most self-possessed insane.

So Levi let go for the moment and instead teased Eren´s length with small kisses and licks, not neglecting his sensitive balls and thighs. Erwin had retrieved a vial of oil and diligently worked Eren open, and the scout´s cock twitched and throbbed deliciously on Levi´s tongue. Drunk with lust, he watched as Erwin snaked his other hand around Eren´s neck and twisted his head to devour his mouth in wet and messy kisses, spit flowing from their mindlessly laving tongues.

“How many fingers?”, Levi rasped, and Erwin mumbled: “Three” without breaking his stride once, wrist flicking as he thrust and curled his fingers inside Eren. Satisfied with the information, Levi closed his mouth on the hard cock in front of him and began blowing Eren in earnest. He worked the whole length with his lips and pressed his tongue flat against the vein on the underside, swirling it around the swollen tip when he pulled back for good measure. The taste and smell around him was intoxicating, heady and dark, and he gripped Eren´s hips tight, unaware of how his nails dug into the skin, to get him closer, deeper.

“Shit, Levi… I´m going to come if you don´t stop…”, Eren panted, and Levi just hummed an affirmative. Erwin wrapped an arm around Eren´s sweat-glistening chest to support him and matched his rhythm to Levi´s movements, and after just some more strokes Eren came hard, writhing in pleasure and crying out beautifully. What he spilled into Levi´s mouth wasn´t as tasty as it could have been, since he seemed to have abstained from jerking off for a while, but Levi swallowed what he was given either way.

He waited for Eren to open his eyes again before he let his softening dick slip out of his mouth, making sure to catch every last drop (and a lewd show of licking his lips clean). Erwin helped Eren lie down so he didn´t just faceplant into the pillows, and for a moment they just held each other and let him enjoy his afterglow. Then Levi nudged him.

“It’s all fine and dandy that you had your fun, but didn’t you have more in mind?” He ran a fingernail down Eren’s breastbone. “So, who do you want to fuck? Me?”

“Or me?” Erwin asked, and it was almost comical how Eren’s head whipped around and his eyebrows shot nearly all the way to his hairline.

“Wha… Erwin? Seriously?” Levi had to smile at the obvious eagerness and longing in Eren’s voice. 

“Watch and enjoy, then”, he mumbled against Eren’s lips and crawled on top of the commander. He nudged Erwin’s knees apart and settled between them. Both men groaned as their erect cocks slid against each other, getting some desperately needed friction. Erwin reached for Levi´s head and pulled him in for a hard kiss, one that was so unlike his usual kisses and told Levi that the man was rapidly coming apart at the seams.

Oh, this was going to be lovely. With a devious grin, Levi slithered down Erwin´s body and reached for the oil vial.

Eren watched wide-eyed, enraptured, as the scene unfolded before him - the Commander of the Survey Corps falling apart on the sheets, clawing at Levi´s shoulders, shivering and moaning as he fucked himself on Levi´s fingers was a sight to behold. Eren inched closer, drank in every gasp and shudder, marvelled at the pink glowing, sweat-sheathed skin. He leaned forward to mouth at Erwin´s throat, tasted salt and musk and faint traces of soap and felt the raging pulse under his tongue and lips. He couldn´t resist the temptation, bit down lightly and sucked at the tender skin, laving his tongue at the imprint of his teeth and the purple mark.

Erwin´s hands buried in his hair, Eren proceeded down his throat, shoulders and chest - Erwin would look like hell tomorrow, Levi mused with a hint of mischief, but then Eren was suddenly all over him, knowing exactly what he did, knowing all the weak spots behind and below Levi´s ears and on his collarbones where every kiss, bite and touch would shoot straight to his cock. Until Levi cursed and pinned the wiggling scout beneath him with dark eyes that held more lust than anger. 

Eren wrapped his legs around Levi´s back and rolled his hips up, letting Levi´s cock glide between his slicked asscheeks. “Levi, please… fuck me. Fuck us.”

“How about you start taking care of Erwin first”, Levi said, sitting back and releasing Eren’s wrists. “I’m dying to see you two getting it on.”

Eren moved over to the waiting blond, half heagerness, half hesitation, and sensing his insecurity, Erwin cupped his face and whispered in his ear: “Eren, I want you inside of me so bad.” The boy swallowed thickly, slicked up his cock and slowly thrust in. Levi’s preparation paid off - Eren was able to bottom out in just one long, slow stroke and leaned his forehead against Erwin’s, panting, trying to get his bearings and let Erwin relax around him. More than a year after they had confessed to each other, and Eren was finally connected with his lover like this, and Levi relished being part and witness of this intimate moment.

Just as slow as he’d slid in Eren pulled out, grasped Erwin’s thighs and bent them backwards and out. Then he started moving, still going slow, but his fingertips digging into the soft flesh of Erwin’s thighs betrayed the intensity of the sensations flooding him. It reminded Levi of his own painfully throbbing erection, and he reached down to slick himself up with a few lazy pumps. 

Eren stilled his movements, and Levi was pinned down by two pairs of burning, expectant eyes. He moved behind Eren and circled the nicely stretched entrance with his fingers before he breached it with the head of his cock.

Tight, so fucking tight and hot, and Levi had to remind himself that it had been a while for Eren, that he needed to take it slow. He thrust shallowly, carefully inching deeper, until finally he was buried balls deep in that wonderful wet heat. He rubbed little circles into Eren’s hips and sides, told him how wonderful he felt, how perfect and beautiful he was, and Erwin carressed his face, tucked back his hair and told him the same, until Eren was mindless and shaking between them and tears of bliss ran down his cheeks and into his beard.

Then they coaxed him into moving between them, and it was simply glorious how he thrust deep into Erwin, making the blond keen and writhe beneath him, and impaled himself on Levi’s cock. Heat raced through Levi and fluttered in his chest as he spread Eren’s asscheeks to watch his length being greedily swallowed. He moved to meet Eren’s thrusts, the skin of his groin slapping lewdly against Eren’s ass, and underneath them Erwin arched his back and rolled his hips. 

The small room was filled with the soft sound of skin slapping on skin, the creaking of bead springs, and throaty cries and whines. And praises, hushed and heated whispers, “You’re perfect, you’re wonderful, you fuck us so good, we love you.”

Eren’s hips stuttered, and he turned to Levi with lust-blown pupils, begging. “Levi, please, can you…”, and Levi took over, snapping his hips hard, driving Eren into Erwin, fucking him into the blond. Eren stroked Erwin’s cock, matching Levi’s pace, and Erwin’s hands dug into his shoulders, fingernails leaving long red traces as he came over his stomach and chest. 

Levi leaned against Eren’s back. “Look how beautifully you wrecked him, Eren, isn’t he gorgeous like this?” and with a long, drawn out whine Eren came for the second time, his insides clenching around Levi. He was almost there, but not quite, not yet, and he was beginning to withdraw from Eren to jerk himself off when a soft voice stopped him. “Can you… can you come inside? I want to feel you.”

Levi looked up to meet Eren’s gaze, and he felt a familiar heat coil in his guts. He thrust in deep and leaned his forehead against Eren’s back, drowning in the scent of sweat and sex, riding on waves of bliss, and only moments later his powerful orgasm washed over him. He cried out without shame, and his cock pulsed and throbbed , filling Eren with his come.

Untangling was clumsy and tired and cleaning up little more than half-assed, but they were all too blissed out to care. Erwin and Levi tucked Eren in and curled up around him as if they never wanted to let go of him again.

**********

When Levi woke up, Erwin was already gone, Eren was molded against his back, and hands ghosted over his thighs and lower abdomen, already having raised attention in his crotch.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Eren pressed a line of lingering kisses to his neck.

“Oh damn, I forgot that sleeping with you means waking up to morning wood in my ass.”

“It’s not in your ass, it’s against your ass”, Eren pointed out, “and you’re pretty hard yourself.” He closed his fingers around Levi’s length and circled his thumb over the wet head.

“That’s no fucking miracle when you wake me up like this”, Levi groaned and rutted into Eren’s hand.

Eren loved morning sex, and Levi always complained about it being annoying and bothersome but secretly he thought having his sleep-addled brains fucked out was a great way to start the day. Lazily, he rolled on his stomach, stuck his ass out and yawned.

“A little more enthusiasm would be sexy”, Eren quipped but set to work unfazed, and soon enough he had drawn all the enthusiasm he could wish for out of Levi, fingering him open and fucking him slow and deep until Levi was sweat-soaked and begged for release, screams muffled from the pillows his face was shoved into.

**********

A shower and breakfast later, Levi dragged a chair out into the yard and set to “make the kid look like a human again”. Strand after strand of sun-bleached brown hair fell to the ground, and Eren winced at the unfamiliar draft of air around his ears and neck.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I don’t want to end up looking like Connie.”

“Stop griping, you’ll look great”, Levi chided, combed him one last time and decided he was finished with the hair. Then he gave Eren’s beard a trim until it was close-cropped and neat. When he stepped back to regard the result of his efforts, he was about to drag Eren back to the bedroom all over again.

“What is it?”, Eren asked nervously and dragged his hand through the fuzz on the back of his head. “Do I look like an idiot?”

“Anything but”, Levi simply replied and plucked the comb clean. He never thought he’d have a thing for facial hair, but there you are. Life has surprises around each bend, and if one of those suprises was a green-eyed kid that looked insanely good with a whiff of hair around his chin, then so be it. It didn’t scratch and prickle like a stubble did, indeed it had felt soft and ticklish against his skin, and Levi liked the thought of getting to feel this more often.

Speaking of faicial hair… through the gate came a person whom he’d gladly drag through the mud by said hair.

“You’re out of luck”, Levi called out to Nile, “Commander Erwin isn’t here.”

“I didn’t come to speak to Erwin”, Nile scoffed. “I’ve heard that the… long term expedition has returned successfully.”

“Yes, sir. If you want, I can go and fetch Armin and Mikasa…”

“Their presence is not required. I assume you haven’t come across any signs of titans - or titan shifters?”

“No, sir.”

“Neither have all the other… expeditions that the Survey Corps has ventured. Hmm. All this tax money put to waste. Tssk.”

Levi wondered if Nile had come all the way - and swift like the wind, one may add - just to mock the Survey Corps´ inefficiency. But no; the man was full of spite and resent, but he certainly had more up his sleeve.

“The objective of the long-term expedition was not to find the whereabouts of the shifter village, but research about inhabitable lands beyond the walls”, he replied in Eren’s place. 

Nile merely glared at him, then leaned forward in the saddle. “Has it never crossed your one-tracked minds that valuable information might be right under your noses? Instead of all this costly travelling at Her Majesty’s expenses you should have investigated Dr. Yeager’s house.”

Levi looked thoughtful, as if seriously considering the idea. “Damn. You’re right. Probably needed a brilliant mind like yours to come up with that.”

“And how convenient that the person holding the key was absend for months. So, Eren… it has never crossed your mind, in all your tidying up in Shiganshina, to go down there?”

Eren stood upright, holding the man’s gaze. “No, sir. It held too many painful memories, so I never went back.”

Nile shook his head in indignation at their assumed idiocy. “Well, I suggest we waste no more time and go there. Now.”

Levi and Eren went to get their horses, and Levi dropped some not-so-subtle hints to the other scouts about where they were headed. In front of the gate, not only Nile but a whole bunch of MPs were waiting for them. Levi didn’t fool himself about the reason they were here. He also didn’t fool himself why Nile had chosen a time when Erwin was away. He wanted them separated and he didn’t want to deal with Erwin.

Not now, anyway.

The area where Eren’s home used to be was still under repair, and the house itself was pretty much as he had last seen it. The entrance was blocked again by debris and broken beams, looking innocently untouched. Jean and his squad had done their job well.

They unmounted, and Nile set his men to work. He rounded on Eren again.

“So, in all this time it never crossed your mind to come back, huh? That your old man left something behind that may contribute to fighting the titans.... and the shifters?”

Again, Eren held his gaze. He leaned his back against a sun-warmed wall. “No. After all… he promised to show me the basement before the wall was breached and all this shit happened. I figured it most probably had something to do with keeping me from joining the Survey Corps. And since I did it anyway and he’s dead, what’s the point?” A petulant look crossed his face.

Levi had to turn away and pat his mare’s neck to keep from smirking. The kid was playing the part of the rebellious teen like a champ.

Nile rolled his eyes at Eren’s thick-wittedness. “He was a shifter, and he did have serum, so he must have known something.”

Eren shrugged. “That was long after the house was demolished. He can’t have gotten it from here. It was months later, and he was sort of lunatic. Who knows what kind of shit happened to him?”

“And besides”, Levi chimed in, “if you think it’s so fucking important, why didn’t you insist in investigating earlier? The scouts were cleaning up here all autumn and spring. Would have been no biggie to dig this crap up.”

Nile shot him a hooded look. “I was busy keeping tabs on… other things.” He watched his men for a moment. “How’s your leg doing? Pretty amazing you can even walk without a cane.”

Levi cursed himself for forgetting it. Recently, he had gotten sloppy on pretending to limp since he had been questioned about it less and less, and it gave him backaches. “Yeah. Moblit did some fixing on it, and I trained a lot.”

“Hm. One could almost think it’s your own. But growing limbs back, that sounds quite fantastic, doesn’t it?”

Levi only grunted and proceeded patting his horse. “Seems like the guys are finished. Let’s get this fucking nonsense over with.”

Indeed the last beam had been removed, and without further ado Eren fished out the key and descended the stairs. He tried to look uninterested, just a sullen teen ordered to fulfill a tedious task, but Levi knew him well enough to notice the tension in his jaw and back.

They filed into the dark basement, and lamps were lit. Everything looked sufficiently messy and dirty. Eren ambled around, looking at a bottle here, drawing a book out of a shelf there, while Nile and his men searched methodically and Levi undusted a chair and draped himself on it. He appeared half bored out of his mind and half pissed off, but his nerves were humming in anticipation. 

Finally, Nile dropped a moldy pile of documents in disgust and wiped his hands. “Nothing here”, he said to himself and the world in general.

“I told you, he wanted to persuade me to become a doctor like him. Probably thought I’d be beside myself with joy at the sight of his medicines and stuff.” Eren flipped through a book with anatomical drawings. “I’ve seen more than enough of what humans look like on the inside. Yikes.”

Nile approached him and slapped the book out of his hands. “Don’t play stupid with me, Eren. You know there’s been more than that stuff here, and it was stolen. Probably by your Commander, but you have certainly participated. Now’s the chance to spill your beans, and I can grant you a quick trial and almost painless death. If you refuse… you know there’s ways to make a man speak.”

In an instant, Levi was on his feet with his sword drawn, but Nile’s men were pointing their blades at him. Without sparing him a look, Nile chuckled. “So, you’re in it as well? I thought so. Did they turn you into a monster too? What did Erwin promise you? Money? Influence? Half of the kingdom? This is no fairytale where an underground mutt becomes a prince, Levi. You two played into Erwin’s hands, you helped him gather any shred of evidence and never wondered what he’ll do with it? He promised you to keep it safe, didn’t he? Yeah, there’s no one as trustworthy as Erwin Smith. Forever determined to free humanity of the titans, and forever inexplicably incompetent at it. I bet he couldn’t believe his luck when you fell into his hands, Eren. What a tool, how useful, how powerful if set to the right purpose. His purpose. He pushed you around like a pawn on a chess board, Eren. And just like a pawn, he will sacrifice you when you have fulfilled whatever he has intended for you. As for you, Levi… you’ve always been his loyal pitbull, you might last a little longer. Maybe he’ll even keep you. After all, a rabid mutt can be entertaining.”

Eren had gone deathly pale, and he was shaking his head in silent, desperate denial. “No… no. It can’t be. It cannot be like you say. Erwin, he’s… he’s a good man, he would never…”

Nile laughed, bitterly. “Oh, he’s good at buttering people up. At making them believe their suffering is for a noble cause. He sent hundreds of soldiers to their graves believing their sacrifice would make a difference. Or was it even more than that? Did he make you feel special?” He leaned sickeningly close to Eren’s tear-streaked face. “Did he fuck you? He’s not above that, you know.”

Eren jerked back, rage in his eyes, and he looked ready to strike Nile in spite of the odds, but then a calm voice sounded from the entrance. 

“Seems like I’m late for the party after all.”

Erwin strode in, casual as if dropping by for a tea, unfazed by the gleaming weapons in the room. His eyes briefly scanned Levi, then turned to Nile. “If you have a bone to pick with me, Nile, I would prefer that you come to me and not drag my men into it. Levi and Eren have nothing to do with this.”

“Nothing to do with this? They’re damn shifters, just like you! Under your command! Just waiting for your orders to destroy the Capital and kill every one within!”

“If we wanted to do that, we would have done so months ago”, Erwin replied calmly. We are shifters, yes, but I assure you we never intended to bring any harm to humankind. What I am guilty of is keeping Levi’s transformation a secret… but it was only because I feared you might react exactly the way you do now. Do not blame him.”

“Oh, I do not blame him. But I will have him killed and dissected. I will have all three of you killed and dissected and your whole Corps thrown into jail.”

“On what charge? You should know that I’m not one to share unnecessary knowledge. I gave my soldiers orders, and as dutiful soldiers they carried out my orders. That’s all there is to it.”

Nile shrugged. “Whatever. It’s not them I’m after. But I arrest you now, and there’s no saving your hide this time, Erwin.” He grabbed Eren’s arm and shoved him in the direction of the door. “Move it, kid.”

But Eren didn’t budge, and when Nile turned to him in annoyance, he shrank back at the maniacal look on the scout’s face. Eren raised his hand to his mouth, and chaos broke loose as every one in the room realized that he was going to shift right here, down in a goddamn basement, and that staying here wasn’t a life-prolonging option.

The men fled up the stairs as the remains of the house erupted, raining everything in the perimeter with debris. A cloud of steam and dust spiralled up into the sky. Giant figures emerged, three of them, and the soldiers who had escaped the blast decided to scram. Nile held his left arm that had been pierced by shrapnel and yelled futile orders, but he had to watch helplessly as the titans walked past him. Eren, with his shaggy hair and pointed ears, was the shortest of them. Next to him was Levi, weirdly beautiful with his golden, jewel-encrusted skin, steam hissing from his mouth and nostrils. In the lead was Erwin, tallest of all, glowing eyes scanning the ground.

They aimed for the nearby gate, moving without haste, as if there was nothing in the world they had to fear. Scouts were already swarming out, alarmed by the explosion, but unsure what to do, since they all recognised Eren. The titans didn’t appear hostile and ignored the humans around them.

Jean was just debating with Armin what to do when Nile came racing down the street on his horse. “Attack them!”, he shouted. “They’re traitors, all of them! You must not let them escape!”

Jean stared at him. “Commander, are you…”

Nile snapped. “That is an order, squad leader Kirstein!”

Jean and Armin exchanged a look and nodded, then sped off with their maneuvering gear, shouting orders at the scouts.

But stopping the titans was easier said than done. Erwin’s and Levi’s skin proved impenetrable, Levi’s golden armor letting even the thunder spears bounce off. Eren didn’t have an armor, but the hands of the other titans on his neck were just as effective in warding off any attack. Also, the titans were familiar with all their tactics and moves, and so their progress in direction of the gate was not even slowed down.

But the gate was shut.

The gate was shut, they had walked right into a dead end, and the cannons on top of the wall pointed straight downwards, and Nile’s triumphant yell of “Fire!” was drowned in the roar of the cannons, and everything underneath vanished in a gigantic cloud of fire and steam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, I know what it looks like. Breathe slowly and look at the tags. NO MAIN CHARACTER DEATH. Promised.
> 
> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


	7. Black And White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After tricking the Military Police, after escaping and finding a new home, life should be easy, shouldn't it? Yet, growing older might cause some unforeseen concerns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, apologies for the loooong wait. But finally we're here!  
> I planned and wrote this chapter completely new - but then seraphichan's awesome chapter [Somedays](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7183835/chapters/16391449) inspired me to give in to my all time favorite trope of silver fox erurirens, which strangely enough I have never written myself.

The quiet valley tucked into a remote corner in the far northwest of Wall Maria held maybe a dozen tiny villages. The people who lived here were neither particularly rich nor poor. They were a hard-working, self-reliant folk that held little love for newcomers, which was kind of funny considering every single one of them had settled here about 20 years prior. All of them, with three expectations, had come from the Underground.

There was a tiny, rotten school building, but it was long out of use. No one of the new settlers felt fit to educate the children. One day in spring, maybe 15 years ago, the teacher turned up. He didn't have much more than an old mare, a run-down appearance and an iron determination. At first, he started repairing the school single-handedly, always surrounded by a flock of barefooted children. His weary, weathered look attributed to his air of mystery and adventure, as did his tales of faraway countries. Occasionally, he'd find a gift of some timber or nails, or a freshly baked bread in front of his door. Occasionally, one of the neighbours dropped by for a chat and maybe a helping hand. 

By and by, the tiny classroom filled with children who eagerly turned up every morning, carrying either a slate or - if their parents were better off - some paper, and a packed lunch. The teacher's payment consisted of coins as well as food. 

Some months later, the horse breeder came to the village. Horse breeders were supposed to be rich - but this man owned nothing but the horses he led, and two saddlebags of clothing and some personal belongings. He came up the winding path through the valley as if he knew exactly where he was going, ushered the animals into the paddock adjoining the school house and slammed the door shut.

The next day, the teacher and the horse breeder started building an annex and a stable.

The horse breeder was short, crude and matter-of-fact, but he had a good, kind hand with the animals. They were a gentle-natured, sturdy and enduring breed and would have fine foals.

No one mentioned that the horse breeder looked very familiar to them. But the influx of small gifts on the doorstep increased considerably. So did the flow of giggling adolescent girls which were all - surprisingly politely - turned down on their request of riding lessons. It didn't stop them from hanging around the stable and waiting for a glimpse of defined muscle whenever he decided to shed his shirt during the hard work in the summer heat.

“You could display some more modesty”, the teacher mildly chided when he came out with a mug of tea. 

“Trust me, Erwin, a sweat-soaked clinging shirt would only make it so much worse”, the horse breeder shot back and dumped a bucket of water on him. There was a collective squeal from the girls when the teacher spluttered, shirt and pants glued to a body that looked more chiselled than grown, every dip, ridge and curve clearly outlined.

Erwin took a deep, calming breath, then leaned down to whisper in the other man's ear. “See you for dinner, Levi.” A huff of warm breath and just the slightest scrape of teeth on his earlobe, and Erwin was gone. Sauntered off nonchalantly as if his shoes weren't squishing with every step and his soaked pants didn't cling to his ass in an illegal way.

Autumn and winter came and went, leaving behind a plethora of knitted mittens and scarves in their wardrobes, and in spring a new handyman arrived in the valley. He wasn't really outstandingly good at anything, but strong and healthy and willing to work hard, so he picked up odd jobs all along. He appeared to be around 20, although it was hard to tell with his accurately trimmed beard and eyes that seemed to have seen anything that earth and hell had to offer - many veterans had that look.

Some people assumed it was pity that drove the teacher and the horse breeder to take the handyman in… and add yet another annex to the increasingly complicated layout of the once plain schoolhouse.

And what a shame that just after his arrival the sign “closed for measles” was hastily taped to the school door and stayed for a week.

**********

“Why did you come here”, Levi grouched against Eren's chest. Tiny dust particles danced in the sunlight that filtered through the window and onto the rumpled sheets. The trio had curled up, lazy and sated, Eren pulled close to Erwin's chest and carding gentle fingers through Levi´s hair.

Eren twisted his neck to look down on Levi, but the man had hunched his shoulders and his face tucked into Eren's chest, inaccessible, defensive. “Huh?” Eren made.

“Why did you come here?”, Levi repeated. “You can have the whole fucking world, why come here to this dead end?”

Realisation struck Eren. Levi was afraid. Afraid he'd leave again. Afraid he was just on a journey through and leave them heartbroken. 

“This is all I want”, he said, hugging Levi closer and grasping Erwin's arm with his free hand, because he knew Erwin needed just as much reassurance. “I don't want the world if it isn't with you.”

“Eren…”, Erwin began. Eren interrupted him. “I know what you´re about to say, Erwin. You don't want to cage me in, you want me to be free, and so on. I am not having this discussion again. You´re not getting rid of me. I'm not going anywhere.” 

Levi heaved a sigh. “In that case you better make yourself useful. We can't afford to feed any slackers.” He looked up, and Eren saw right through the quip, saw the conflict of relief, guilt and insecurity. He kissed Levi sweetly, his mouth, his nose, his eyelids. Then he squirmed around and did the same with Erwin.

“I love you. You two are my life, can't you see that? All this time I had to stay away… it killed me.”

**********

Bless the Military Police´s laziness and their habit of keeping staff for all the dirty work like cleaning, washing and taking care of the horses.

Bless the Underground citizens for taking any unwanted job.

Bless Hitch Dreyse´s loyal little army of ears and eyes.

Many words were spoken unguarded when just an old housekeeper shuffled by with a broom, many documents lay open on desks or were tucked and forgotten in pockets of dirty pants. Plans and schemes to dispose of Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, and Eren Yeager. Three men who had never done any harm to Underground people - and Levi being the man who had saved them.

Hitch was well known as Levi´s escort and had gained a lot of trust among the Underground people, and so she was the one they confided in. With her help, Erwin had been able to predict Nile´s steps, from the surprise visits to the cannons pointing inwards on the wall.

It was ironic that they used the same trick to escape as Bertold and Annie - discarding their titan shells and flying off with their maneuvering gear amidst smoke, steam and chaos. The scouts were all questioned, of course, and all duly affronted and upset by their Commander´s betrayal. Documents were found in his possession, papers that seemed to be collected or written by Grisha Yeager, but sadly they held no new knowledge… little did Nile know of the files that were stashed away by Hanji.

None of the scouts could be charged on anything but following their orders, and grudgingly, Nile had to let them go, just to face his own trial. The escape of the three titan shifters right under his nose, along with all the bribery in his force that Hitch chose this moment to uncover, ended his career.

Erwin, Eren and Levi spent the best part of five years outside the walls. Eren showed them the sea, and even Levi, the sworn city brat, found it strangely awe-inspiring. The rolling of the waves, the fresh, salty air soothed the impact of the vast, endless horizon that made them feel so very, very small.

It was hard on their own in the wilderness, especially in winters, but they pulled through. They saw snow-covered mountains and swamps; seemingly endless forests and deserts. Many areas had been inhabited; the sheer esteem of the population wiped out by the titans was chilling. Eventually the emptiness and silence surrounding them proved too much to bear.

Hesitantly, they turned their backs on the wilderness and returned to the enclosure of the walls. A few adventurous souls like themselves might roam the lands, but it would take many generations to fill them. For now, company was still only to be found within the old confinements. But just the knowledge, the feeling that they could set a foot outside anytime they wished made the walls feel a little less like a cage.

It had been five years, and they were presumed dead, but they still reckoned it would be safer to separate. Levi mentioned the valley that he remembered was inhabited completely by Underground folk - they held little love for authority and would keep their presence a secret. It would be a hideaway, just in case. His voice was oddly rough as he gave Erwin and Eren directions. They would split up and meet there during the next months to figure out how to proceed. No one mentioned settling down there permanently. They felt it would be pushing their luck just a little too much. A real home, in safety, a quiet, peaceful life, how they longed for it, at the same time fearing that they didn't deserve it. 

One by one, they sneaked back, not knowing if or when they would meet again.

For once, Erwin allowed himself to drift, to not plan and scheme ahead. He would make his way to the valley and figure out something once he got there. During their travelling years, he had improved on letting his mind rest and wander, after the panicked white noise of the first days and weeks had worn off. For decades he had been doing the mental equivalent of juggling flaming torches while tap dancing, the gears in his head constantly whirring and clicking with concepts and ideas and warnings and memories. Having nothing more to focus on than food, shelter, the weather and taking care of their horses left his thoughts running wild and resulted in some ugly panic attacks. He still cringed at the memory of helplessly crying and shivering like a child, rocking back and forth and pressing his hands to his ears to force the noise in his head to shut up, but Levi and Eren had taken care of him so patiently, so lovingly, never once giving him the feeling that there was need for shame and embarrassment, but still the shame at breaking down in front of them is deep. He´s allowed himself to crumble in their company before, but never had he been in such a hopeless state, only letting go so much that he could still catch himself. Now he knew there´s no need for that, they will carry and protect him regardless. It was interesting to see what letting loose did to him now that he was alone, and he was relieved that the panic didn´t creep back on him. Maybe having their images with him, carrying their strength and love deep in his heart made a protective charm.

Levi had thought it would be easy for him to slip back into well-known solitude, but in fact found it hard to cope. Whatever he might have seen in himself, Erwin and Eren had seen something different, something worth loving and keeping. Gently, patiently, they had patched up and warmed his shattered heart, nursed it back to life. Saying farewell to them for god knew how long cut open all the old scars, and at night he woke up in cold sweat, aching, bleeding, suffocating. He clenched his teeth in determination. Damned if he messed this up and lost them again. Damned if he was. If fate was out to rob him this last chance of happiness, he´d give the fucker a nasty surprise. He would fight for what he wanted, what he needed like air now, and he would fight tooth and nail.

Eren relied on his one-track mind to carry him back to his lovers. Ever since he had seen the ocean with Mikasa and Armin, he had left behind all the turmoil, rage and fear of his childhood and teenage years. It hadn´t lessened his passion and determination, but indeed strengthened his focus. Still, he hated breaking up, for he had never been forced to manage on his own. There had always been someone to guide and aid him, much as he wanted to ignore that in his foolhardy hotheadedness this was exactly what he had needed. Matured and grown up, he knew that Erwin and Levi trusted him enough to get by alone without getting into trouble, and he was determined to prove them right. He was not going to let them down.

**********

On the day after he arrived - and left the bed for the first time - Eren ambled around the house, taking in his new surroundings and all the little domestic arrangements that Erwin and Levi had made so far - from the stool in the kitchen for Levi to reach the highest shelves to the mismatched but cozy and perfectly sized armchairs in the living room. The house didn't make the impression as if it waited for a third occupant at first glance, no empty spaces or sets of three, as if not to attract any bad luck, but with only minor changes it would be spacious and comfortable enough. He smiled at the extra chair that appeared to have been tucked away and forgotten in a closet, the rack in the bathroom that would easily fit a third towel, the pots and pans that would hold enormous portions for two or decent portions for three. Erwin and Levi had been waiting, hoping and waiting, but made every effort to appear as if they weren´t.

He heard muttering from Levi´s room and peeked around the corner, since the door stood slightly ajar. Levi was leaning against the window sill, holding up a small mirror and seemingly examining his hair. A tug, a mumbled: “Fuck”, and a silver hair, gleaming in the light, slowly floated to the ground. Another tug, another silver hair.

“Levi, what are you doing there?” Eren couldn't keep the amusement from his voice. Levi yelped in surprise and nearly dropped the mirror. He scowled. “Did nobody teach you to knock on people's doors, for fuck´s sake?”

Eren slowly entered the room. “I´m sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. But seriously, what in the name of the walls are you doing?”

“Nothing”, Levi snapped, his cheeks suddenly very pink. He avoided Eren's gaze, jaw set. It was positively endearing to see him so flustered and helpless for once. 

Eren's eyes scanned his face and hair. Then he tentatively reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Levi´s ear, letting it run lovingly through his fingers. “You are bothered about going gray, aren't you? For some reason, you're uncomfortable that I noticed. But why?”

Levi wanted to laugh it off, tell Eren he was imagining things, that he wasn't so vain that some white hairs caused him sleepless nights, but then he saw the quiet concern and sincere warmth in Eren's face and stopped himself. The kid deserved the truth after all. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Dammit, I feel like an idiot now, Eren. I mean I didn’t really pay attention, and Erwin never mentioned it, and then you come back looking more handsome and mature than ever… and you are all over my hair and keep playing with it… fuck, I became all self-conscious all of a sudden.” Levi’s face and ears had taken on an interesting tomato shade, and his hands fidgeted in his lap. He snorted. “Fucking pathetic, huh?”

“Not at all.” Eren was torn between amusement and a heartbreaking fondness. He cupped Levi’s face gently in his hands. “You know why I was so fascinated by your gray strands? Because back then, when I fell in love with you… I never thought we’d get a chance to grow old, let alone together. In my eyes, every white hair, every wrinkle is a victory. Over the titans, over the Military Police, over all the assholes who tried to destroy Erwin and you.” He leaned forward and kissed the faint worry lines on Levi’s forehead. “Don’t think I’d love you any less, Levi. When you’re all wrinkly and bald and have a white beard down to your knees I will still love you. And besides”, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “when I think about what you will look like with gray temples, it turns me on. You will look hot as fuck.”

Levi had leaned into the touch with his eyes closed, and now he was beginning to grin. “I see”, he murmured. “Horny as ever.” He tugged on Eren’s collar to pull him down. Eren obliged with a soft kiss, deepening it as Levi’s mouth opened invitingly under his lips. He marveled at how much Levi had changed in terms of tenderness - in the beginning, his kisses had been harsh and demanding, and he´d been hardly able to deal with being treated with fondness and affection. Now, he was all soft and pliant and pleased little noises as he welcomed Eren's tongue and languidly caressed it with his own.

After one last peck, Eren nuzzled his nose into the soft black hair and breathed in the clean scent. “Please don't change anything about yourself, Levi. I loved you back then, and I love you now. And I will continue doing so. Okay?”

“Okay”, Levi mumbled against his neck. “I was just fretting over the age gap all of a sudden, and I felt like an old man, and old men are gross.”

“Don't let Erwin hear that. He´s older than you. And besides, you had no problem fucking me when I was a literal teenager.”

“Erwin Smith is an exception to the rule. He ages unusually well. Have you noticed the little laugh lines when he smiles, and how his golden hair is changing to silver? Fucking gorgeous.” Levi chose to ignore the underage reference.

“He is”, Eren agreed. “And don´t think of yourself as any less gorgeous.”

**********

Once a private room for Eren had been added to the building, which by this time looked less like a schoolhouse but more like a collection of toy blocks, they settled down into a comfortable routine smoothly. Levi had thought a domestic life would be boring as hell after a while, especially in the countryside where nothing much happened, but was delighted as he was proved wrong every day. His horses and Erwin’s school kept them busy enough, and once the daily workload was done there were always some little repairs or odd jobs to do. There were neighbors who dropped by, markets and fairs, and weirdly enough the scenery around the house that changed troughout the seasons never grew boring. He loved slipping outside with his first cup of tea in the mornings and sit on the front steps, sheltered by the awning above, to watch the sunrise, or the rain or snow, whichever the weather had to offer to him.

Occasionally, visitors would disrupt the peace of the valley. All of them wore civilian clothes, but had something military about them. Every year, a beautiful brunet woman and a man with a shaved head would appear, trailed by an ever growing flock of children. With each child, the woman’s waistline dilated a little, which did nothing to diminish her youthful, energetic looks. Sasha and Connie had left the Survey Corps and settled down in Sasha’s home village, living a peaceful life of hunting and farming, and increasing the population. Despite having to take care of such a large family they had kept up their easy camaderie and playful banter. Levi despised little children and thought them all equally noisy and snot-nosed, yet the little herd seemed inordinately fond of him and followed “Uncle Leewie” like a multi-legged shadow. Erwin’s and Eren’s attempts to entertain and humor the little ones were more or less flat out ignored. 

Another group of visitors was less in numbers and a lot quieter. It was passed around in hushed whispers that the two men were no other than the commanders of the Military Police and the Survey Corps, having rushed through the ranks due to a sudden lack of commanding officers and their outstanding performance in duty. The woman in their company was of unrivaled beauty, with jet-black hair and a delicately shaped face. She had her daughter with her, first perched on her own horse, in later years riding a pony, with the same easy grace and skill as her mother.

Mikasa never told Eren who the father of the child was. Smitten as they were, Eren guessed it was either Jean or Armin, but her face remained inscrutable throughout all his hints and guesses. She had wanted a family, had wanted a child, and now she had one. End of discussion. Mikasa was still in the Survey Corps, because she didn’t feel that being a mother had to mean staying at home. Instead, she took her daughter with her if possible, or left her in the care of a trusted nurse. Armin and Jean were always eager to help too, and it was quite a sight when Commander Kirstein of the Military Police or Commander Arlert of the Survey Corps carted the little girl about in their respective headquarters or took her to meetings. Little Carla was quiet and observant, and had little patience with most child’s play. A little stuffed woolen horse that Eren had made for her shortly after she had been born was the only toy she always carried with her, and when she wasn’t outside building tree houses, practicing with bow and arrow or catching dragon flies with a net she retreated into a quiet corner with a book. Rifling through her pockets or drawers was a risky thing - you never knew if you’d come across some earthworms, bugs or toads.

Mikasa admitted that she did love Jean and Armin in her own way. Not romantically - Mikasa had never been a romantic person, and never would be. However, her attachment ran deep, and both men loved and accepted her like that. Eren felt that as long as all three of them were happy, and Carla - who he considered his niece - grew up as a healthy, confident, loved girl, he would not be the one to judge. After all, his relationship with Erwin and Levi was no less unusual. 

Once she was old enough to be separated from her mother for some time, Eren would sometimes ask that Carla’s stay be prolonged, unwilling to part with the girl, and Erwin and Levi seconded it eagerly. Thus, the girl got to spend most of her summers under the care of her uncle and his lovers, running around barefoot and returning home with tangled hair, a tan and countless scratches and insect bites, as happy as any child could ever be. After getting bathed and having her hair braided by Levi she’d crawl into Eren’s lap with a book until she nodded off. Unlike with the Springer clan, Levi got along really well with Carla and often even assisted her in skipping school and sneaking off for a horse ride instead, much to Erwin’s chagrin, who claimed that while she was there he was responsible for her education. On the other hand, it was Erwin who baked cookies unusually often and cooked all her favorite meals. 

In this fashion, the years trickled by. Foals were born and sold, children graduated from Erwin’s school, and the apple tree behind the house donned a pink dress in springtime, a shady foliage in summer and provided an affluence of tasty red fruit in autumn. 

Around 15 years after they had come to the valley, more than 20 years since the war had ended, Levi teased Eren with the first white hair that showed in his beard. He didn’t think much of it, but Eren just gave a pained smile.

The next day, he shaved his beard off. He went to his duties and was quiet all day. Without making it too obvious, Erwin kept an eye on him and noticed that Eren kept checking his appearance in all kinds of reflecting surfaces and chewing his lip thoughtfully.

After dinner, Erwin asked Eren to help him with the dishes. They worked in silence for a while, until Erwin dropped the dishcloth into the water. “Okay, Eren. What’s eating you?”

Eren dried another plate and put it away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Eren.”

“It’s nothing, Erwin.”

Erwin grabbed Eren’s shoulders. “Eren. Levi makes a joke about your beard finally going gray and you shave it off. And then you mope all day. Are you scared of aging? Is that bothering you?”

Eren sagged. “It’s… Yes. You know, he always says how young and handsome I am. And… it’s a long time ago, but he said to me once that old men are gross, and that you’re the only exception. So I thought… I was…”

He looked at Erwin nervously, but Erwin didn’t laugh or make fun of him. “You were worried he wouldn’t find you attractive anymore.”

Eren nodded. Erwin brushed the backs of his fingers over Eren’s cheekbones. “Don’t you know that he’s crazy for you? No less than 20 years ago? He’s just awful with compliments. I assure you, there’s nothing you need to fear. He will always love you, and so will I.” He pulled Eren into a tight embrace, and the brunet clung to him.

**********

“Eren thinks you might ditch him once he’s joined the silver fox club, Levi”, Erwin said conversationally over breakfast.

“Erwin!”, Eren exclaimed indignantly, and Levi stopped licking honey off his fingers that had dripped from his slice of bread. 

“What the hell, Eren? What gave you this silly idea?”

“Maybe it’s because you told him something like that I’m the only one who’s still attractive with wrinkles.” Erwin sipped on his tea.

“I did?”

“Hm-hm.”

Levi mulled it over. “Oh, that.” He sighed. “Eren, if you remember it correctly, back then I was panicking about my own age and that you’d ditch me. And you said it wouldn’t stop you from loving me. And it really didn’t - Erwin needs reading glasses, and I like to take a hot water bottle to bed these days, and you’re still with us. Trust me, kid, that my feelings won’t change too, even when you walk around with a bald head and an ear trumpet. By that time I will probably not remember if you put shoes or socks on first, but I will definitely remember that I love you.”

Eren gave a weak chuckle, and Erwin rolled his eyes.

“And what I also know… is that the two of you can still make me scream. Shall we prove it?”

**********

Whatever had gotten into Levi to bring conversation into that track, Eren couldn’t find it in himself to complain. Somehow it had led to him being draped over the hastily cleared kitchen table and holding on to Levi’s firm thighs as he thrust up into him. If the wanton moans and cries and the fingernails digging into his arms were anything to go by, his efforts were more than appreciated. He couldn’t enjoy the view, however - his head was bent backwards over the edge of the table and his mouth full of Erwin’s cock. But his mind was all too happy to provide all kinds of mental images of Levi’s and Erwin’s faces, mouths open and panting, eyes heavy-lidded with lust, and somehow being robbed of sight and having to rely on his filthy imagination made everything even more intense. Erwin groaned as he fucked his mouth shallowly, careful not to choke him or strain his awkwardly bent neck too much. Always considerate, always kind, even in the throws of passion, that was Erwin. However, his thrusts were increasingly erratic, and Eren sucked harder. He had fucked Levi to the brink of climax twice and eased him back down again, and he didn’t think he could hold out much longer. 

Spit and precum covered his lips and trickled down his cheeks, and the twitching of the cock sliding over his tongue and the high-pitched note in Erwin’s moans told him exactly the moment the man was going to come, and it was all the warning he needed. Hot seed filled his mouth, and he swallowed everything Erwin had to give, gently lapping up every last drop. When Erwin withdrew, Eren looked up into his wrecked, flushed face, surrounded by wild hair.

Erwin bent down to wipe Eren’s face clean, but looking at the red, swollen, parted lips he couldn’t resist and kissed them, and Eren’s tongue darted out to give him a taste of his own cum. Open-mouthed, they licked shamelessly at each other, and somewhere in the background the thought crossed Erwin’s mind how it could be possible that kissing someone could be more filthy than having your dick in their mouth.

The sound of Levi clearing his throat interrupted them. “So, are we finished here, or what?” Eren flinched and gasped, and Erwin guessed - quite correctly - that Levi had clenched around him tightly.

Eren’s grin was positively predatory. “Oh no, we can’t possibly finish before we make you scream, can we?” He gave a hard, quick thrust that knocked the breath out of Levi. “What do you think about giving Levi a hand, Erwin?”

With a smirk, Erwin moved around the table. Levi was soaked in sweat and shuddering, perched atop Eren to let himself be fucked from below rather than riding Eren’s dick. His own untouched cock was hard and leaking precum. Erwin embraced him from behind, and Levi leaned back against his chest and clung to his arms.

Eren was mesmerized by the view. Levi with his legs spread wide above him, his own cock gliding in and out of that hot, hungry ass, and Erwin tilting back Levi’s head to capture his lips in a lewd, wet kiss. From Levi’s side, it was uncoordinated and messy, moans and whines spilling from his spit slick lips.

“Fuck, feels so good, so fucking good”, Levi gasped. “Make me come, Eren”, and Eren’s fingers closed around his dick, stroking in time with his hard thrusts.

Levi’s entire body tensed up, knuckles of his fingers turning white around Erwin’s forearms - that would give some hellish bruises, but Erwin only held him tighter - and he threw his head back with a howl of pleasure as he climaxed. Eren had only been holding on by a thread, and with Levi’s cock pulsing in his hand, shooting hot come all over his stomach, and his insides clenching him tightly he couldn’t keep back any longer. One, two deep thrusts and he came inside Levi, his back arching almost off the table.

Eren sat up and embraced Levi and Erwin, his hot face resting against Levi’s sweat-dampened chest. He looked up at them - Levi with his gray temples, the tender skin around his eyes a crisscross of tiny lines from working outside so much, and Erwin, whose blond hair had mostly given way to silver. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I was being silly.”

Erwin leaned over Levi’s shoulder and kissed his nose. “Glad we could clear that point.”

“Yeah, I hope you won’t get another midlife crisis anytime soon, because frankly you’re only in your mid-thirties, and as enjoyable as this might be, I don’t want to make it a habit of doing gross stuff on the table. Your naked ass is on it, and we’re eating here, dammit. You better give it a thorough scrub before lunch.” Levi might try to sound matter-of-fact, but the fingers carding through Eren’s messed up hair were gentle.

Eren smirked. “Aye, Captain.”

After that, he grew his beard back, and the white hairs he discovered in it here and there, and later on his head, didn’t worry him any more. There were many more to come, many more years in which they would accumulate, and those years would be spent with the ones he loved. 

It sounded like an awesome adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Please feedback me, reader-san.  
> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)
> 
> I thank tumblr artist [hacelee](http://hacelee.tumblr.com/post/144827347387/trying-to-picture-what-erwins-titan-form-would\)) for allowing me to use her imagination of Erwin's titan - please make sure to check out her blog and fave/reblog her amazing art!


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